The mascara post.

As I've mentioned, I love makeup and beauty products, but I don't claim to be an expert. I just know what I love.

But remember that part in SATC where Carrie's boss at Vogue is like, (some version of) "the world doesn't care what Carrie Bradshaw thinks about shoes. What does Carrie Bradshaw know about shoes?"

And she's all, "with all due respect, I may not know about all the other junk, but SHOES? Shoes I know."

My paraphrasing is on point, I'm sure.

K, of all the beauty products, mascara is kind of my SHOES, you know what I'm saying?

I've tried a lot of brands over the years, and not to be a serious dick, but at least one person asks me if I'm wearing fake lashes like, once a week. (And I'm not. I discovered last summer I'm allergic. Gross).

So, without further ado, I'll share my favorite picks!

Here they areeeeee!

 BEST BANG FOR YOUR BUCK: Revlon's Lash Potion by Grow Luscious (volume and length mascara). I buy blackest black.

Decided to give this one a try maybe a year or two ago as an impulse purch at CVS. I think it's the best you can find without heading into a Sephora/Ulta type place. It's like, $7-8, there's NO clumping, and it's not messy to apply, either (which is my only issue with the next one mentioned). I use this when I'm going to run errands or I'm having a casual day at work -- I throw on a little powder, bronzer and this stuff and that's my bare minimum.

BEST EVA (fah eva-eva): Diorshow Blackout.

I know, how can I say "best eva" when I just complained it's a little messy to apply? Well, I make the rules here so deal with it. While yes, I can get smudgy as shit with this stuff when I'm in a hurry, it's still so worth it. It's just really thick, and the brush is so nice, and it makes my lashes look out of this world -- long, thick, everything you'd want. I started with normal Diorshow then upgraded to Blackout last month (I'm a sucker for packaging). I think it costs like, $30 with tax, which seems ridic, but I don't wear it every day. So it lasts a pretty long time. Whenever I get major compliments, it's because of this stuff.

BEST NEW DISCOVERY: Makeup Forever's smoky extravagent.

I picked this out probably six months ago as one of my Sephora rewards and it's quickly moving up my list. It's a good everyday mascara that I just might invest in on the regular. Similar to the Revlon but a tad thicker/higher quality.

BEST SPECIAL OCCASION: Benefit's They're Real!

For over-the-top lashes. It's like, $10 or $20 depending on if you want to buy mini or full-sized, and it's worth every penny. Layer on a few applications of this and you'd be surprised how magical it is. The best for coats on coats on coats. I swear, when I do this stuff up right, my eyelashes hit the lenses of my glasses. #notfunctional

Overrated: Maybelline's The Falsies, Cover Girl's Lash Blast, Too Faced's Better Than Sex.  Sorry.

Can't even tell you what kind I'm wearing here. Worthless.