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| Grabbing her hands up by the face is becoming her signature move : ) |
I just want to gobble up those cheeks.
Literally.
JKJKJKJK! I cannot STAND the "literal" abuse. The misuse of this word has been an epidemic (figuratively) for a while now, but maybe the fact that it's election seaz? Literallys are flying off the shelf, and I'm going insane.
<Not literally.>
End rant.
THIS IS SUPPOSED TO BE ABOUT ANA. Let's dive in!
She's up all the time!
I mean, don't get me wrong, she still naps. She's actually a pretty awesome sleeper. She got 12 hours the other night, no joke. (!!!) And when she DOES wake up in the night, she takes some bottle and goes right back down. I feel like we hit the jackpot when it comes to sleepy babies. Because James and I lovvvvve to sleep (silly statement -- everyone loves to sleep, right?) But yeah, as it turns out, A does, too. Score.
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| If anyone spots more headbands like this, message me and tell me WHERE! I'm struggling to find more. |
But what was I saying? She sleeps well, but she's up more and more.
Even like, at the 2-month mark, she was still napping a ton, compared to where she is now. Now it's like, she's such a little person. She'll still get drowsy after a bottle, but like, she's up with me in the mornings. She's hanging out all afternoon and evening. She's usually up till 9:30-10 with me, which is like, HI BABY, we've been up together all day.
Sometimes I fear that she gets bored with me? I was talking to my mom, and I was like, "I feel bad, it's like, all we do some days is like, read a bunch of books, run an errand or two, play on her activity mat, have some tummy time, walk around the house and point out things, cuddle and sing songs." My mom was like, "um, that actually sounds like a lot. I think you fear she's bored because YOU'RE bored."
Definitely might be some truth to that.
I love love love that I can stay home with her -- I've said it before, I'll say it again; can't emphasize that enough. If I had to return to work right now, I'd probably be FUMING and cry about it every day. But yeah, that doesn't mean I'm completely stimulated at home. Some days I'm going a little stir cray.
James gets home and I'm like, a puppy, jumping up and down, so pumped to see my human. "Hi hi hi guess what I saw on TV and guess what Ana did and you have to watch our Snapchat and I missed you and how was your show and hi hi hi!"
I'm on a tangent! Back to the topic ...
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| Happiest baby alive. |
Ana's even up as we run errands. That's new! It used to be like, you'd set her in the car seat and she'd be lights out. Which was so convenient for going out to dinner, or a particularly long grocery store trip, or whatever. It was almost like she wasn't even there. Now it's like, my mom and I tried to go out to eat last week? And not only was she awake the entire time, but she melted down. First public meltdown, in fact! We felt so sad for her. She was the happiest little girl on the planet, smiling at us, making little faces ... until she got a panicked look in her eye, and started screaming. And wouldn't stop. Basically, my mom walked the stairs with her while I got the check and packed up our food ON THE QUICK. I think it was a combo of overstimulation and tummy troubles. She can really wail when her stomach hurts, it's pretty distinctive.
Her being awake more and more also makes it harder to get in all my pumping sessions. I used to do 5-7 a day. Now it's more like 4. But that's kind of fine with my body; I mean, four is still a lot. And pumping less frequently means I get bigger hauls each time. She's eating more and more, so it's hard to keep up, but that's what the supplementary formula is for, I guess. (I'll always feel bad about not being able to BF exclusively, but that's life, I suppose. Gotta roll with the punches and feel grateful I've been able to give her a majority of breastmilk!)
Needless to say, it's tougher to be productive around the house, as well, with AG always up. Just keeping her alive/entertained/happy, and getting all my pumps in takes up ... 75% of my day? I have a post coming with all the pumping deetz, in case any of you (six) readers ever falls into a similar sitch and you're wondering what to buy, or how to make it all work.
So yeah, I know I mentioned it's a little boring, staying home with babes -- but it's not like you can work on projects, either. It's just this weird middle ground where like, you're doing stuff ... it's just not that exciting as an adult. Does that make any sense? I don't want to sound contradictory, but it's diffy to capture the essence of my days. OBVS, hanging out with AG is a blast. To see her face light up and be around her for all the development? Incredible. But like, yeah, if I have to bounce around my apartment or read Five Little Monkeys one more time .... omg.
I'm attempting to make mom-friends in the area, but it's turning out to be harder than I anticipated.
What else?
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| Looking so Eyeconic. |
We moved!
For the first time in FOREVER, I feel like we're settled in. All of our stuff is in one spot, we're not in any weird in-between phase, and we're not going anywhere immediately.
Well, we are visiting Rochester (NY, not Michigan) in about two weeks, but you know what I mean. We don't have a move in our imminent future. And it feels so good!
Ana has her own room, Jimmy has been awesome at setting up all her baby stuff (that shit is TOUGH), my mom and I are doing some light decorating ... huge sigh of relief!
Staying at my grandma's while we were between California and Michigan was so nice. But having our own spot to really call home, and being able to quit suitcase life? (I lived out of the same suitcase for 2 months) ... is the bestttttttt.
I mean, it was a BIG suitcase, but.
Moving right along!
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| "Our son looks so cute today," James will say. This is one of those times ; ) |
Our favorite books:
Elmer, Olive My Love, Brown Bear/Polar Bear what do you see/hear, Global Faces.
Elmer is the shit, Olive My Love is cute, everyone knows BB/PB, and Global Faces is a bit of an lol, it's just like, three sentences but broken up into a book -- it's basically just baby faces. But Ana lovvvvvves them! She is really into faces right now. She wants to make crazy faces, and look at yours. And copy yours. And she chatters with all her stuffed animals, mobile friends and even the faces she sees in her books. It's so cute.
I'm tempted to start a YouTube channel where I talk about what's going on in baby books. First of all, it's like, PEOPLE GET PAID TO WRITE THESE? I need to reexamine my career, like, stat!
Here, I'll do a rough draft of my first best-seller.
There was once a puppy named Stan.
He saw the mailman so he ran.
He ran with his puppy-friend Fran.
Fran and Stan got married, living happily ever after.
And their lives were filled with great laughter.
Actually, WAY TOO ADVANCED.
Hoot.
Woof.
Ribbet!
Hiss.
THE END.
That's more like it. And then on the back it's like, $9.99!
WHAT!
Anyway, my YouTube channel's gonna break down what's happening in these riveting tales. For example, Springtime? It's like, the dog tells the cow, the cow tells the chicken, the chicken tells the lamb, blahblahblah, big game of telephone, spoiler alert on the cover, SPRING IS HERE. It's springtime. Back to you.
In all seriousness, it warms my heart that Ana seems to love reading with me. We do it every day, and she gets excited at some pages, and tries to babble along during others ... it is theeee most precious time we spend together.
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| Better believe Baby G will be in a Sparty outfit with a Cuse bib if we have to play each other! Already nervous about that possibility. |
The right time
Was it my mom who was saying like, it's all about timing? Well, I'm here to confirm: Yep yep and yep.
Like, Ana's Rock n Play for example. When she was first born, I had James rush to put it together as one of the first things we (he) assembled. I thought she'd love to sit in there with the vibrations and a gentle little song. WRONG. She hated it. I think it was because she was too small -- she basically slipped so low in there, and just screamed and screamed.
But now? She lovvvvvvvves it. Usually once a day, I'll put her there while I pump, and she's fine to just kick around, grab her feet, look up at the hanging guys (Clarence and Dorothy are their names), while I do my thang. She'll sleep there from time to time. And when I toss her in there for a sec just to pee or make a sammy, I'll hear her from the other room, squealing in delight or happy-babbling. So cute.
Basically, she's perfect age for the activity mat, as well. I don't think she would have been game even a month ago, but now, it's the perfect entertainment for her. On there, we have Orenthal the Owl, Randy the Raccoon, Elly the Elephant (should have lost points for creativity) and ... I'm forgetting one.
We like to give all Ana's "friends" real-people names! I think it's so funny.
So yeah, speaking of timing, we just set up one of those door bouncers, although I think she'll have to grow into it a bit.
And she's slowly coming around to the idea of being worn, a la the K-Tan!
I know people sometimes swear by a certain baby carrier. K-Tan has been awesome for us so far. It's easy to use (even though we only know one hold so far), it's cute and simple, matches everything, fits us both ... great investment. She fights it if we're just hanging around the house, but will embrace if we're at the mall or the farmers market or somewhere busy. Two weeks ago, she burrowed into James in that thing so hard. And passed right out. We hung at the farmers market for probably an hour or two, and she stayed asleep the whole time.
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| My favorite onesie currently in the rotation : ) |
Developmentally ...
Ana is doing everything I mentioned last month: Smiling, laughing, "talking," etc. But now, it's like, amplified times 10! I'm sure she'll continue this trend; it's just so fun to watch. She'll roll over if she's on a soft surface. If she's on the floor, it's harder for her to gain momentum, but the urge is there. It's funny, she'll work SO HARD to roll over, then she'll finally do it, and burst into tears. Like, "but I didn't want tummy time!" It's like, she hasn't put together that that's what you get from a successful roll.
All she wants to do lately is sit up really tall, or stand. Ana doesn't love laying down much as of late, but if you prop her into standing mode and let her bear weight? She's smiling and squealing.
She's really strong. She can't balance much, but all the weight is definitely on her legs.
She's so expressive, and used to work so hard to get the tiniest squeak out. Now, she babbles all the time. Her laughs still aren't belly laughs, but they're way more frequent -- and loud. So sweet.
She loves to cuddle, and despite cutting off 4-ish inches of my hair, still loves to grab it. If I hold her close during a freakout, she'll usually calm down fairly fast, which makes me feel so much like her mom.
I always think I know what's wrong. "Oh, definitely her stomach, no, she's definitely nervous, oh yeah, just let her stand, no, more bottle this time, yep, just a burp and she'll be good."
I love being that person for her.
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| That. Face. |
And ...
I'm less scared.
Which is great!
I used to be like, scared about the tiniest of details -- if I was doing the right thing going without a schedule, scared to pump without someone in the house to hold her in case of a freakout, scared to take her certain places, scared to move her when she fell asleep, scared for her to wake up, etc.
I mean, it was never debilitating -- I actually think we've been pretty laid back ... we moved across the country with her, and have never canceled plans because of her.
But still. It took me awhile to get into the whole groove of being a mom. It used to be like, if she fell asleep on me, then that's where we'd be: all night. Now it's like, she fell asleep on me? Cool. Let's move her so I can load the dishwasher or type this blog or go nap on my own. What's the worst thing that happens, she wakes up? Whatever, I can get her back down fairly quickly.
I run this. And it feels good.
Being a mom ...
Is the best thing I've ever done. Outside of like, marrying James. Ana and Jimmers are everything.
I didn't know how I'd be at this whole motherhood business, or how I'd feel. But gosh, I just look over at that little girl and melt. She has my whole heart. I want to fix everything, and protect her, and love her forever, and be the best mom I can possibly be.
I want to give her the world (without spoiling her).
Time is going too fast. The days are long, but the years go fast, a friend told me recently. I can completely understand that sentiment.
It's all so bittersweet.
I already miss when she would snuggle me all day and night. I love that she's growing up to be such a healthy, happy baby, but like, it dawns on me from time to time that it's already flying by. I used to set her on my chest and she'd fall right asleep, her chest rising and falling in a quiet rhythm, and I'd lean in and get all that sweet, warm baby breath in my face. Now, I put her up to me and she wants to climb! And squeal in my ear and give me big, drooly "kisses." Still so fun! Just different. I wish I could freeze time! Or bottle these feelings.
What a sweet baby boo. I'll leave you with a final pic!
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| Fishy baby. Pout-Pout, perhaps? |
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