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| Like this moment. |
Without further ado ...
Seeing Ana's little face (which looked huge actually, compared to Robby's) for the first time, as my mom walked her into our hospital room, right after I had Robs. I wanted to cry; I was so overcome with emotion. For real, my eyes well up even now, just thinking about it. I knew how much was about to change for her, and I had missed her overnight, and I wanted her to be OK with everything, and love the baby, and never be confused or feel left out ... and I spotted her and my heart exploded. I knew that I *couldn't* cry, because she was in a phase where if I cried, she'd cry (and I didn't want to startle her), but like, I remember that moment so vividly. She walked in, looking so sweet and a bit timid, holding hands with my mom. Her hands, by the way, looked so big next to Robby's. Her cheeks were so full, her lashes so long, and she just looked so developed. Despite still wearing diapers, and clutching her beloved blue blanket, she was suddenly my big girl. It started in that moment officially, but I knew it would last from here on out. In the matter of one night, everything had transitioned. I cuddled her so hard on the bed (well, as much as she'd let me), my body still shaking a bit from the trauma of L&D -- and I didn't even mind that she didn't have an over-the-top reaction to baby Robs, or even want to hold him. (I suspected she wouldn't). She mostly just wanted to chat with her Teletubbies in the corner and eventually steal my lunch. I was just so happy to see her, and so happy for the baby to have finally arrived, and I had this overwhelming, out-of-body love for my firstborn baby/big girl. I wanted to protect her and reassure her that everything would be fine. Having her on my lap, even for a minute, made me feel "all things!", as she would say.
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| Ana in the hospital lobby that day. |
How much fun we had with James, as he had two weeks off work after Robby got here. K, James has NEVER had that much time off! Well, except when he was between jobs, I guess. Anyway, he was (is) the best husband of all time, truly stepping up to the plate -- making the best dinners (well, again, he always does); keeping Ana SO busy as Robby and I navigated the wonderful world of nursing; washing bottles once we eventually switched to exclusive pumping; making bedtime with Ana the most fun and special time; rubbing my shoulders; listening to me ramble about a million concerns and thoughts and considerations; keeping me laughing; always keeping my water glass full (like, figuratively and literally, now that I think about it); the list goes on and on and on. He is my best everything: friend, advocate, partner, spouse. I will cherish those weeks forever. What a gift.
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| SO many nights reading Tap the Magic Tree, Barnyard Dance, Princess of the Potty, etc. |
The time I took both babies out in the snow (probably for like, half-hour TOPS; I'm no hero). And Ana belly-flopped in a puddle at the very end, which prompted me to get the house deep-cleaned the following week. Robs, despite being bundled up in the warmest snowsuit of all time anddddd being worn in a K'Tan, promptly PTFO'd the second we hit the porch. He was like, "I'mmmmm outta here." Also I hadn't blow-dried my hair that morning (well, or since 2011 if we're being honest), so the ends turned to icicles. The end.
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| That day! |
The first time Ana said (completely unprompted), "I love you, Robby!" (Which was Friday!)
Staying in our pajamas all day. Sometimes we'd change into new ones at like, 7:00 or so.
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| BROOSH TEEF |
Ana's pump dance (go follow me on Snapchat if you'd like to see; it happens about three times a week and it's the funniest).
Robby's arm slung around mine. He seriously does it every time I hold him, and it makes my heart the happiest. He is the No. 1 snuggler and I hope that never changes!
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| <3 |
Ana running around to "Let It Go," shaking out her hair like Elsa, yelling all the Frozen character's names, and then telling me what's happening: "Boat fall down!" or "All snow melted!" ... "Newwww outfit!"
The way Robby looks at Ana when she's running around or talking to him. He's very captivated, and I'm not just saying that!
Dance parties with Miss Anz. Her happy scream. The way we taught her to say, "Oh faSHO wit it." ... Sure, 2 can be a tricky age at times. But she is the MOST FUN bear ever, and we're loving about 97% of it!
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| What a little friend! |
Probably half a dozen trips to the aquarium. Last week, at the area where you can touch some of the sealife, the worker asked Ana if she wanted to touch a sea star (which is the new name for a starfish, apparently). Without hesitation, Anz reached her hand in the container and went, "BOOOOP!" My daughter just boopsed a starfish, I thought. I just about died laughing, as did everyone else in our vicinity. Baller.
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| Annual membership = so worth it! |
Speaking of that, our first trip out, just the three of us: also to the aquarium, and it went so well! I felt brave even for attempting it.
Robby's little old man laugh, which sounds more like a courtesy laugh sometimes.
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| Cheeks! |
The way Ana refers to him as Baby Robert. (Pronounced "Bay-bee Wah-boot!")
The first time Ana gave Robs a bottle all on her own. "Want it?" she asked. I was upstairs and came upon that sweet scene. She had fished his bottle out from the diaper bag, I believe. I was so touched that she took it upon herself to offer! "Here go!" she said. "Want mo? Let's do it!" What a little mommy she is.
My uniform: Lou and Grey pants from Loft, a cozy T and one of my robes. Glasses on, ponytail in place, makeup once a week MAX. Ultimate coziness.
Shameless on Netflix. Killer show; def in my top 3 of all time (others would include Six Feet Under and Mad Men, for the record).
Sneaking upstairs to see what James and Robby are up to, only to find Robs curled up on his papa's chest, napping.
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| Not napping here, obvs, but you get the gist. |
Bath time with Robs. He lovvvvves it! He gets so relaxed and almost seems to melt into the water.
The way Ana talks to her brother, always asking him questions, ("What's wrong, guy?"), rubbing his back, bringing him Blue, "helping" with bath time, wanting to participate in tummy time, etc. "Show Wobby?" she loves to ask. She really sees him as a person, and I think she always has. And by that I mean, more of a person than an infant. The first time that he was really crying and I didn't respond quickly enough, she got all, "Baby CRYING!" as if she felt for him, and was trying to come to his defense. She was frustrated that I hadn't fixed it yet and it was almost like she felt the injustice of the situation.
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| Sibling love! |
All the Royal Oak Tuesdays and Wednesdays we had while James worked long hours. My parents are the best. There's nothing like going to your childhood home and having your mom and dad take care of you, especially when you're being called upon by a newborn and a toddler 24/7. Can't tell you how nice it was to know that once a week, someone else would handle dinner, make me tea, bring me water, help chase Ana, hold the baby, let me have a few minutes to myself to take a shower, or pee, or just like, breathe. Meese and Bob da real MVPs.
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| Meese and Robs |
Laughing so hard I felt like I couldn't breathe, when Ana proudly announced, "Dada SEEPING" on not one but TWO mornings when he was supposed to be on Anz duty! "Oh, so now youz a snitch, bear?" he asked the first time, from the couch. "Stopppp snitchin!" To which she responded, "Snidge! SNIDGE!" Verdict's still out on whether or not he was dozing. ;)
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| Tummy time! |
All the quality time with James. We've actually had a TON of just-us time, which is surprising, considering we have two tiny bears now. But we've been able to enjoy a few brunches, a day date to Michigan State-Syracuse at LCA (sniffle), a coworker's going away party at a local bar, etc. Making time for each other (and just each other) is so key, I swear.
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| Super depressing day, but at least we look good? |
--
And here are a few things I *would* like to forget:
-- How many times we watched the Teletubbies DVD in that first week or so. (I wasn't trying to win any awards, you guys. It was like the NCAA tournament. Survive and advance!)
-- Boss Baby.
-- How many times I caved and gave Ana fruit snacks, or McDonald's for dinner. #badmama
-- Every moment in which both babies were crying at the same time.
-- The spit-up/all the laundry/the time I didn't realize that curdled chunks were in my hair and I went to Kroger like it was NBD and only noticed once I caught a glimpse of myself in the dairy aisle.
-- The night Robs woke up like, six times, and I felt like I had been stepped on by a horse the next morning.
-- All my attempts at getting a cute pic of the two of them together. See below for evidence.
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| Truly horrifying. |
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| Spaghetti sauce on her face and Robby's all over the place. |
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| Getting ... a little closer? Gotta focus, Robs! |
-- The day the Netflix gods unexpectedly removed Zootopia. CAN I CALL SOMEONE TO BRING IT BACK? JESUS.
-- The day Ana's fav juice cup was in the dishwasher and she *needed* it. (In hindsight, why didn't I just take it out and wash by hand?) lolol.
Also, thank god for Shipt. I will happily pay a little extra for grocery delivery, rather than attempting to hit the store with these two crazies!
In conclusion ...
Life with two is crazy, but oh-so worth it. Some days I feel like we're killing it, others I want to curl up and forget everything and sleep for two weeks straight. I'm trying to be careful not to wish too many of the days away, though. They're so fleeting. I know I'll want to rewind time and remember every moment.
K and I have about a million half-written blogs that I should finish up and post soon. Now that I'll be back at work, hopefully I'll be more in the swing of things soon! xoxo
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