Robby, at 5 years old

Can I just start by saying, how very "second child" or even "middle child" this is?

Robs hasn't had a blog post dedicated just to him, in QUITE some time. 😭

I've had this, half-written, sitting in my Drafts folder for about a year. More than a year! (I *have* updated it a bunch though in recent days and weeks).

Admittedly, Bridget's birth, even like, my pregnancy with her -- the fact that I made a major career shift this past summer ... a lot got in my way. Not to mention, I am just so OVER writing sometimes, as someone who writes full-time for work. (I know, these are all just excuses).

But I love this lil boy!

ANYWAY. Wanna hear how this past year or so (even two years?) have been with our guy?

Let's dive in.

Robby is the absolute loviest child on the planet. Just look at him, snuggling with SHARKEY.

Sharkey, btw, is a main character in our lives. He's about to pop up in every other story, just as a fair warning, lol.

Sharkey definitely remains a best friend. I asked Rob the other day if he plans on loving Sharkey and sleeping with him for the rest of his life, and he was just like, "YES MOMMY OF COURSE, WHY WOULDN'T I?"

I never had a doubt, really.

This is his school picture from K3 -- look at my little no-neck boy.

And here's his pic from K4, his current grade:

He's so much bigger! And he looks proud. I'm so proud of him. Did I say that already?

Robs is the nicest guy. And that's not to say he can't be a bit hot and cold (oh, he can), or temperamental or cranky.

He's just ... so pleasant and sweet. I don't know where he gets it. He is over-the-top nice. He's been this way for a few years now. Like, he talks to me how I talk to him.

Some examples: "Mommy, you are the sweetest girl. ... Robby loves you! ... I love you with my whole entire heart and my whole entire brain and my whole entire body. ... You are the best mommy who ever lived. ... I'm going to love you, mommy, for the rest of my life. ... Will you keep me little, mommy, so I can never grow up and always love you this much? ... I love being in this family." (Are you gagging, reading these? I swear, I typed them into the Notes app of my iPhone, so they're not even made up, lol!)

He is too much.

And don't you worry - he did tell me, when I told him he had to change into his pajamas the other night, "THIS IS THE WORST FAMILY EVER," as he stormed out of the room very dramatically, so ... like I said: Hot and cold too! lol

Robby is VERY thoughtful, though. And I don't mean thoughtful in the traditional sense, but it seems like he's constantly replaying things in his head. He's empathetic. He puts himself in other people's shoes and thinks about what situations were like for them.

When Michigan State knocked Marquette out of the NCAA tournament, he went from chanting "go green! Go white! MICHIGAN STATE YAY!" to actual tears, because he saw some Marquette players crying. He burst into tears right away, like, "Mommy, I didn't know they were going to cryyyy!"

So we had a chat about how it was kind of heartbreaking. They worked really hard too, you know, and now their season is over.

One day, out of the clear blue sky, like, 3 months after our Disney trip, he just says, "Mommy, thank you for taking us to Disney World. That was a LOT of fun and hard work for you!" (And I swear, I'm not like, roaming the house, bitching about how the planning was hard work, haha. I really like that sort of thing!) Disney was hilarious with him, btw. So much dancing and happiness. Some grumpy moments too, but I'll cherish that memory -- with both kids! -- forever.

Another time, I'd been teasing Rob about how when I invited my friend Melanie out to dinner with us one Friday, he was a gigantic grump, and James actually took him out of the restaurant early, to go hang out in the car. WEEKS later, he says randomly, "Can you tell Melanie I'm sorry about being crabby that one night during fish fry?"

And then he goes to one of his first birthday parties, like, a big one with his whole class, and as all the kids are eating cake around the table, in between bites, completely unprompted, Robby pipes up and says, "Thank you for inviting me to your party, Bennett. I'm having a lot of fun!"

🥺

Some of the other moms were so impressed. I was like, "I didn't ask him to say that!" haha. I was just tending to Bridget a few feet back, as she was like, days old at the time, but I overheard it all, my heart was indeed warmed by the sentiment, and the rest of the party was like, OH MY GOD THAT ANGEL.

He's just so pure. And filled with love!

Robs was pretty sad to leave Ms. Hendricks, who was his teacher for a lil 3-year-old preschool program we had him in. She was warm and he loved his class ... so this year, going all day, every day, Monday through Friday, in a foreign language, felt like a lot at first. But he took it like a champ. He mentioned missing Ms. Hendricks a lot at first, but he's never fought school or struggled. His teacher says his German is great (he's really into it, and of course, having Ana -- especially on virtual school in 2020 and 2021 -- largely helped!), he plays well with others, we've never had a behavioral complaint, and if anything, one time he was the victim of straight up targeting, like, ejection from the game style, and he didn't even react. Some girl who he's never met hit him on the playground, and he said he "blinked a lot and swallowed his tears." 🥺🥺🥺

Stop it. This is making me sad. I swear, this shit makes me go into mama bear mode.

He is obsessed with Bridget. He says sometimes he wants to stay home from school and protect her.

WHAT.

(Also, like, protect her from what?) lol.

Oh, you want to know why else I bring up his 3-year-old preschool class ... one day, he comes home with this lil slip in his bag, and it says ROBBY GANLEY, Dolphin of the Week. And I'm like, aw that's cute, I wonder if his class recognizes a student each week for good behavior.

It was one of the first weeks of school, so I didn't know how it worked or whatever.

No, you guys.

Dolphin of the Week isn't for one student per class -- it IS a weekly award, but they pick one student in the whole school. And Robby won! It's an elementary school; K3 all the way up through fifth grade. I don't know how many students, like, 100? 200? It's not massive, but it's not small, either.

I got a call from his school that afternoon, and it was the principal. (!!!)

She was like, "Yeah, we don't often have students from the 3-year-old class who get Dolphin of the Week, but it's an exciting honor, and we just thought you should hear it from us!"

When I say I've never been prouder ... ohmygosh, I was tearing around the house, like, "you guys! James! Robby! Guess what just happened!"

Robs didn't really understand, but for awhile, we were having some fun with it. Like, imagine he whacks Ana while they're playing in the basement. James would be like, "um, sir, is that Dolphin of the Week behavior?" Or if he sassed me at dinner, I'd be like, "Dolphins of the Week do NOT talk like that."

My mom was even like, texting the news around. My cousin Amanda in Pittsburgh was like, "I HEARD!" It was going viral.

Oh this little boy.

K3, for Robby, was all about the block area. Every day on our drive home from school, I'd ask, "Did you get to play in the block area?" It was almost like if it were a bones day, if you followed Noodle the Pug's TikTok a year or so ago. If the block area was a yes, then YESSSSS/what an amaz day! But if some other kids were in there or they ran out of time ... whew. You don't want a day without the block area.

Here's Rob and Jim on what's becoming an annual Boyne Highlands ski trip.

This pic was from the 2022 edition. We just got back, maybe 2 weeks ago?

(I uploaded most of these pics into this blog entry so long ago -- already, so many of them are looking dated!) 🥺

Robs -- both kids, really -- they're pretty good skiers, considering they've just gone a handful of times. They have some balance and they're pretty comfortable out there, which is more than I can say for James, lol.

The first time, Robs was kinda too little, and he just slid down with Uncle Robby maybe once or twice. He was kind of like a little Gumby, and not that into it.

These past two years though, he was pretty into it!

Such good gliding skills, and better strength than you'd expect. He is so dense lately, as in, his body is just growing at rapid speed and he feels heavy; strong and like a real child, rather than a stumbly 3- or 4-year-old.

Here are some more pics I had loaded into this draft months and months ago. In some of these, he looks exactly the same. In others, I feel like he's grown a ton, just as of late! Time, slow downnnnn please.

He LOVES: tacos (cheese, lettuce, onion and salsa only), sharks, his stuffed animals, family, Spiderman, soccer, and both the kids were on a roll with swimming lessons there for awhile. James and I were like, "We don't need them to be good, we just need them to not drown," lol.

They loved a spontaneous trip to Great Wolf Lodge last spring, and Robby thinks he's a huge Lionel Messi fan (but barely watched the World Cup, haha). He is very enthusiastic about soccer though; it was cool to watch him this past fall. Ana, on the other hand, told me she wanted to sign up and then hated it. Robby was so gung-ho about chasing the ball, scoring; some of the other kids on his team were kinda ADHD at times, but Robs was laser-focused. He was sad he didn't have games -- the kids his age just have practices. He probably should have taken Ana's spot in HER games, lol, she didn't understand offense vs. defense (although, to be fair, her coaches didn't bother to explain it).

What else can I tell  ya about Mr. Bob?

I genuinely enjoy him so much. He is sweet as pie, polite, so good-natured, funny, and he makes every day fun.

I am not just saying those things. He's a tiny person but he's been my friend, and it's been that way for a while now. He's so likable. I want my friends to get to know him, I'm so proud of him and his big personality.

I tell him all the time, now that he's in school full-time, I miss our lil ritual of walking Ana to school, coming home, having a second bowl of cereal, and then I'd work on my laptop from the couch while he laid up against me and watched Sesame Street. Some of those days drove me crazy, like if I had a Zoom meeting or I felt I had to rush him off to school ... but so many mornings were just like, cozy and sweet and quiet and nice.

To have them both out of the house now, at German school, from 9:15 till almost 4 p.m. is wild. James and I would be enjoying pretty easy lives right about now if we didn't just add an extra baby!

No regrets though. Robs is the one who made me feel like I wanted another baby in the first place.

He's the biggest love. He went through a phase where he liked me -- a lot. If we were in the house together, he'd sit by me, no matter what. It's hard to describe ... because he's always been really independent, active, he can solo-play, and I totally think he's remained right on track, developmentally. I don't mean he ever NEEDED me needed me, like a crutch. He just liked to be near me. If we were lounging, watching TV, he'd very casually come and plop on my lap and hold my hand. If I was on a Zoom call from the couch, he'd grab his bin of dinosaurs and play quietly (sometimes not so quietly) right next to me. It's been less lately, and that's been a shift. It makes me happy and sad, all at once. He's growing up! It's bittersweet. I'll say, "YOU NEED TO COME SNUGGLE MAMA," and he'll giggle and tell me he's busy, or he has to play with his sharks. This is kinda what mom life is like, I'm learning. You get so used to something (sometimes it drives you nuts), but then one day, you wake up, and it's gone.

Still, I'm constantly telling James, my mom, texting my friends, like, "You'll never guess what Robby said/did today," and it's always just like, out of this world, lol. I love him so much my heart could explode. He's so funny and charismatic.

Even last week, on the way to school, he was all, "Mommy! Listen. The birds are tweeting!" And then he greeted them, and said, "Hello, birdies! I hope you have a great day!"

He's super observant. He doesn't like when other people are sad. Ana got hurt earlier this week (just something minor, I'm sure), and he cried, too. "I don't like when Ana is sad!" he whimpered.

I have so many stories. I type things into my iPhone constantly, in an attempt not to forget.

Once, he had to go to the doctor because he got this odd eye infection, like, twice in a row. The nurse practitioner was having a hard time getting these eye drops in, to see if he had scratched his cornea, and he kept saying, "AW MAN, CHEESE AND CRACKERS," as like, a substitute to "oh shoot." Just like, the way he was doing it, his tone, the fact that he remained in great spirits even though "I LOOK LIKE A VAMPIRE," this combo had the nurse in stitches.

Another time, I brought him into his school office, late because we had another appointment, and just as I was about to hand him off, he asked the woman who'd be walking him to his classroom (ever so sweetly and kind of quietly, "Um, could you hold my hand, please?"

I could make a whole side entry on how he treats Bridget.

He was so excited when I finally told them we were expecting a new baby brother or sister. He solely referred to her in utero as "our baby." Like, "Mommy, when are we going to be able to meet our baby?"

And then when he came up to the hospital to meet her -- oh my good god.

He was nervous around the baby, but whispering things like, "Hi, Bridget. It's me, Robby! I'm your big brother. I love you already!"

Jeez Louise. He is too much for this earth.

Oh, and a funny one: When I bought my 4Runner, I kept emphasizing what a big SUV it was, compared to my old Escape, and he pulled me aside at one point and asked me quite seriously, "Do you think you'll be able to reach the pedals, mommy?"

Here's a running list of things I typed into my phone, either because they made me smile or laugh:

-- The time he somehow got the name "John Ellinger" stuck in his head, and he was inserting the name into songs, inviting him to the dinner table, saying goodbye to him (well, or an imaginary version) when we left the house, etc. "Nice to meet you, John Ellinger!" he'd say to absolutely no one.

-- When I put SHARKEY in the wash, and he cried real tears and whimpered defiantly, "But Sharkey is the goodest guy I ever met! He shouldn't have to go get clean!"

-- His reaction to gifts. He's so grateful and incredible. (Well, most of the time. He didn't understand when I tried to surprise them with Disney, and that went a lil haywire).

-- The time we were flying from Rochester, NY, back to Chicago, and there was a tornado warning on the ground, so we had to circle above O'Hare for two hours. He decided at some point that James was "an extraordinary guy" and I was "just a lady." He'd go, "Drinks coffee every day? Extraordinary guy. Goes to work? Extraordinary guy."

"Takes me to school every day? Just a lady. Makes me cereal every morning? Just a lady."

The people behind us thought it was hysterical. Soon enough, they were chiming in. "Mows the lawn when it gets too shaggy?" People behind us: "EXTRAORDINARY GUY!"

It was so funny. Never mind that I'm "just a lady."

Then, once we finally landed at O'Hare, the kids kept begging to go on one of those lil "cars" that drive you around in the terminal (I think they're for people with physical disabilities, or like, the elderly), and I was like, "no no, we don't need one of those, let's keep it moving." But the driver passed us a few times, and he finally offered to take the kids on a lil tour-de-O'Hare, so I went with them, of course. It was pretty fun! We were halfway across the airport from our gate, and who do we see boarding their next flight? The people behind us from first plane. They called from across the way, "IT'S THE EXTRAORDINARY GUY!"

-- The time we went to the State Fair (over the summer) and Robby had the best time ever, and yelled to everyone at the end, "This is the best family everrrrrrr!"

-- On a not-so-sweet note, he kept getting interrupted, just the other day, and finally he tossed his napkin down at dinner and huffed and puffed, "This is the WORST FAMILY!" (haha I'm realizing this is a pattern. I started the blog with this dichotomy, didn't I?)

James and I couldn't even keep straight faces at dinner.

-- He and Ana love drawing (always have, really; my budding artists) and they'll sometimes make pictures for classmates. Robby was giving Ana very specific compliments, like, (gasps) "Oh my goodnesssss. You used ALL the colors on that butterfly, Ana! Beautiful." It makes my heart swell.

-- Or like, speaking of that Rochester, NY trip (their first time on a plane!), when James' mom was dropping us off for the plane ride back to Milwaukee, I feel like there was a lot of hustle and bustle and unloading bags from the trunk and quick goodbyes. Robby is so thoughtful. He sniffed, "I'm going to miss you, grandma! I love you."

-- When I started a new job, he was my little buddy -- asking me early on, "How's the new job, mommy? Tell me about it."

-- I like for the kids to be cozy, and they like for me to be equally comfortable. Both Robby and Ana are quick to say, "Are your star PJs clean, mommy? Go get your stars on, mama!"

(I do love my star pajamas!)

-- I think I've said this already, but he's just so thoughtful about his days. Once before bed, he said, "We had a whole day in front of us, and now poof! It's over."

-- He has a silly voice, in general, and a ridiculous laugh. I want to bottle them both.

-- He (and Ana) are very outgoing. They love the owner of our favorite fish fry restaurant, the mail carrier, their school lunch ladies and people like the dentist and the doctor.

-- Robs loves classic "boy stuff," like dinosaurs, trucks, superheroes and -- most importantly -- books. The best way to get him to unwind is by snagging him onto my lap for a story. He pays really good attention, too (most nights). I'll ask him, like, we're doing Harry Potter book 1 right now ... "What did Harry mean when he told Hermione that?" And he stays super engaged, and usually has a decent answer for me.

-- Or how about when I was pregnant? He used to talk to my bump, like, "Hi baby, it's me, Robby!" Or he'd always pretend he felt or saw kicks, like, even when I was pretty early on in the pregnancy. He'd just be hanging with me, making dinner, and say, "Ope, there it is again! I saw it kick!" Like, no, no you didn't, sir. I'm 18 weeks with no bump. But I like that you're so involved!

-- One time, I swear, he is so prophetic. He said, "Mommy, I love you every single day. But I don't always LIKE you every single day." I mean, if that doesn't sum up how we feel about family some times ... I appreciated, in a weird way, him calling that out!

-- He lovvvvves gym class lately, and cried one morning about the fact that he hadn't been in quite some time, due to appointments and snow days and such.

-- As mentioned, Robs loved our Disney trip last fall. We took the kids in late September, and although he was hot and cold at times (which drove James a little batty), a highlight for both of us was watching him dance at Disney Junior. He got so into it. The employees were like, clearing people out, and Robby was essentially break-dancing and attempting the worm. I haven't laughed that hard in a longggg time.

-- He cried at "The Snowman," which is one of our fav Christmas movies. It wasn't an upset/tantrum cry, it was like, he truly got in the boy's head. Robby was all, "but the boy really loved the snowman!" when he melted at the end. It kinda made me tear up, tbh! Empathy is taught, and I do think we're doing a good job with him.

-- He loves to pick his own outfits in the morning. Anything Natalie buys him to wear, is an instant fav. We love his old-man shark button-downs.

-- He has a beautiful voice, and if you ask him to sing for you, he will.

-- Robs will talk to me, like I talk to him: "Get over here, you angel of a darling!" he said to me one day after school. Or, "Oh dear child, you grow up so fast!" he said to Ana in a funny accent. He has such a sense of humor!

-- For as many highs as he has, he also has some low lows. It's just par for the course, I think. If I send Ana up to her room, either as punishment or just to take a breather, she's all like, unrattled, "Cool, I got toys up there!" If you send Robby, he sees it as a personal assault on his character, and he will cry, make it worse for himself, defend his actions, and take it VERY seriously and personally.

When he gets crazy and defensive and defiant, James and I say that Robs has left the chat, and his alter ego is a guy named Rick.

I hate when Rick shows up, lol.

-- Once, he went to his room and was muttering (not so quietly) "Mommy is being SO MEAN" and I swung open the door like, "What's that, sir?" and he was caught redhanded. He stopped right in his tracks and looked so guilty, lol.

-- He has these PJs he calls his "Sharkey is the Winners" -- long story -- but he used to change into them every day after school, without fail. They're actually starting to get kinda small on him, which makes me so so sad! He was obsessed with them for YEARS.

-- Robs is a great sleeper. He's often out like a light when I put him down. Bro eats a lot of cereal when he wakes up. He has a pretty great appetite, will try most foods, and he's just an easy kid, overall.

-- Before Robs went to MGIS, we used to drop Ana off and he'd say, "We'll miss our girl!"

-- He's very in touch with his emotions.

-- Went through a BIG Encanto phase.

-- Thinks our Roomba is alive -- named him "Monart." "Mommy, Monart is following me!" Where he got that name, I have no idea. I used to think he was saying MOZART. Nope, it's Monart.

-- He's very supportive. He'll say, "Good job going to yoga class, mommy!"

-- Before bed, we do something called BONKS KISSES or "hundreds of kisses." James and him have a new one called "saw kisses." I'm left out on that front. The bonks ones make a silly noise, and hundreds of kisses are exactly what they sound like. He'll say, "Can we do hundreds?" Or "Mommy, Daddy only gave me a few, and I asked for HUNDREDS OF KISSES."

-- He and James also do a fun game called "thank you for my SHARKEY!" where James pretends that Sharkey belongs to him, and Robby has just been watching him, so to speak, and then James snatches Sharkey out of his arms says the line and it gets big laughs, EVERY time, lolol.

-- There was another day Robby and James were "great men," and I have the funniest video on my phone. "Were you looking for some great men? Only the finest men live here," James says.

-- I probably said some of this already, but Robs is doing so well at German school. I feel like Ana gets a lot of credit for being super smart, which she is -- she's so perceptive and quick and emotionally intelligent ... but Robby's really sharp and bright, too. They're little sponges at this age, and it's so impressive to watch them soak up this new language that James and I don't even speak.

-- I don't fear tantrums in public, and haven't in quite some time. Like I kinda said, he's great in a group setting and when we're away from the house. It's just like, he gets triggered far too easily at home, and that's when he lashes out sometimes.

-- He makes humming noises when he eats; always has, ever since he was a baby, going "mmm" even while taking a bottle. Ana used to HATE THIS and yell "no singing while you eat, WOBBY!" but now we're all just so used to it. Sometimes we'll have people over and they'll be like, "Does he always do this?" and I forget that it's a thing. I'd miss it if it ever went away!

-- Robby and Ana think being bald is hysterical. I don't even know where this comes from. I heard Ana whispering some encouragement to him, right before his most recent haircut appointment, like, "Tell the lady you want blahblahblah" and I couldn't really decipher what exactly was being said. I kinda laughed it off, then forgot about it, and then his appointment was canceled because of a snowstorm. When we finally went back, a week or so later, he marched in confidently, I boosted him up onto the seat, and he told the stylist, "one bald head, please!"

Oh my good god, we just about lost it.

You could tell he knew this would go over well. He was delighted by how hard we were laughing. But he didn't push the issue. I did NOT let her shave his head, she never really considered this as a serious request, and only one other time, he said, "Wait, I wanted a bald head!" And I was like NO SIR YOU DO NOT.

I asked him later, "Did Ana tell you to request that?" And he said yes. We got home and I was like, ANALISA GANLEY, lol.

-- He will sit in a shark costume, watching a shark show, holding SHARKEY, trying to bite me like a shark. He's obsessed. He had a whole astronaut costume picked out this past fall for Halloween, and decided to wear his 2T shark costume instead. And then had the audacity to say, "Wait. This doesn't fit me right." I was like NO SHIT, BOB. I was a little irked, not gonna lie. And then, he dropped out of trick-or-treating halfway through, and came home to pass out candy with Jim, and Ana and I come home an hour later, and guess what he's wearing? His spider costume from a year or so ago.

Now we're just adding insult to injury, digging up multiple costumes of years past, while straight-up refusing to wear his *brand new space suit that he begged me for.* He told me later, "Mommy, that costume is just my around-the-house costume. Not my Halloween costume." I was like, WE DON'T GET AROUND-THE-HOUSE COSTUMES.

Oh my god, I'm laughing just remembering.

He did bomb one of my work calls while wearing the space suit months later, just like, pretending he was floating around in outer space, as I had to try to maintain a straight face and run the Zoom, and I was like, that's it. I retire from momming, lol.

-- Here are some of the funny things he's said to or about Bridget as a tiny baby:

• "Mommy, Bridget is being mean."
• "Bridget, did you get a haircut?"
• (As I was getting her dressed), "Bridget, PUSH YOUR LEG IN FOR MOMMY."
• "Hey, does Bridget know Baby Yoda?" (this was when she was like, days old. Yeah, all her friends told her about Baby Yoda on the playground).
• "What's Bridget having for dinner?"
• "Can I share some of my Pirate's Booty with Bridget?"
• <Bridget is crying, loudly; Robby is in his room across the hall.> "Bridget, Mommy SAID she was coming. BRIDGET. Bridgetttttt. Be quiet, Bridget! Bridget, you HAVE TO CALM DOWN!"

He loves his sister so much. He wants to grab her head (something a bit too much), sing to her, hold her, and tell her stories. At first, he was pretty guarded about the baby ... then one day it just all changed. "I'm ready to hold Bridget now, Mommy!" he told me. And it's been like that ever since.

My mom and I constantly wonder: Does he really think she's like a little person? Is he joking when he asks her if she's heard of Baby Yoda or wonders what she's having for dinner?

-- Went through a big "how dare you" phase. It started semi-seriously, and then morphed into a bit of a joke. One time, he just wouldn't stop coming out of his room at bedtime, and I really had to lay down the law and get mad. He took it all in, then quietly slunk out of the room and muttered under his breath: "Um, how dare you?"

OK, 10 million words later ... gonna wrap this blog up before it's 2024.

We love you, Robby James!

xoxo, Mama