The second trimester: I want ALL THE FOOD

The second trimester's been a blast, no joke. Easy peasy and my energy is back! (For the most part). I don't have too TOO many complaints.

To hop back in right where I left off -- yes, I now indulge safely just the tiniest bit!

I realize people have pretty strong opinions on these topics, so I'll do the usual disclaimer saying, I do me. You do you. I don't judge. Neither should you.

Introducing: Baby G! One of the earliest ultraound pics.

The breakdown:

Coffee? I drink about a half-cup a day, just for a tiny pick-me-up, Monday through Friday. An occasional weekend cup, as well, depending how much I've had that week. Our nurse said technically you can have 12-14 ounces a day and be totally fine ... the main reason you're supposed to avoid is for miscarriage risk in the first trimester. We're well past that hurdle, and wellllllll, working a desk job -- sometimes you just need a little! I did cut out energy drinks entirely. If I'm going to have caffeine, it's usually with a healthy dose of milk, and just coffee. Keeping it au natural. I do love Monster, but it makes me cray. No reason to make Baby G cray, as well!

Runny eggs? Guilty. I avoided entirely in the first tri, but I missed the F out of them. If James is cooking, he'll usually keep mine on the heat a little extra -- so it's more like, over medium -- but I order over-easy at restaurants from time to time without much second-thought. Eggs are great for you, and what's the likelihood REALLY that I'm going to get food poisoning from them?

Lunch meat? Sure. I'm definitely not eating as much of it as I used to, but our nurse said if it's fresh from the deli counter and you're eating it within a few days of purchase, it's safe. (And if it's been longer, I'll just stick it in a frying pan for a few minutes). I'm super picky about the quality of my lunch meat in general, so I'm not nomming any pre-packaged garbage anyway. Sorry, that sounded snobby. But I'm talking Nugget + Whole Foods lunch meat only, pretty fast after the initial purchase. Again, the risk I'm going to get listeria ... feels low.

Sushi? Only once or twice, but ... yep. Go read "A Panic-Free Pregnancy" or actually Google this one. If you're eating quality sushi, there's no reason to avoid. It's all about moderation anyway -- so I'm not saying I'm consisting off spicy tuna rolls. But have I had some occasional raw fish? Absolutely. No regrets.

Soft cheese? Nah, outside of some feta in one sandwich, once, nahhhhh. The good news is, I don't really like soft cheeses anyway. No loss here.

Wine/booze? Meh, mostly just sips here and there -- and no hard liquor, just like, if James is trying a new beer or wine (or we're picking wine for wedding favors), I might have a teeny taste. I did have an 8-ounce Soft Parade after our wedding, and a half-glass of wine once with dinner ... again, Nurse Linda says who cares. I realize the U.S. takes a really strict stance on "no amount is considered safe," but I've done quite a bit of reading. Not to imply I'm one of those people who thinks I'm smarter than the docs, but my own doc says a drink a week is fine! So we're in agreement : )  I don't even hit the drink/week average, but I'm not going to be scared off, either. I just think it's silly to be freaked about fetal alcohol syndrome off some occasional sips. I feel very Parisian about my stance. Mostly it's just frustrating to have one, knowing you can't have two. I don't want to slip into any gray area, so I never go past a half-glass/one glass.

What else ... I sprouted the teeniest, tiniest semblance of a bump around week 20. My hips might have like, widened a touch beforehand, but my stomach remained flat for aWHILE. I worked at KCRA through week 18, but no one had any idea I was expecting (outside of the few people I had told).

My final day at KCRA :/

Week 21, I flew home for the wedding and round-ligament pain started. (That hurts!) And James felt the first kick/baby nudge around that time, too! It was so crazy. It's a moment I'll truly never forget. We were sitting on my parents' couch, feet up, home for the wedd, and I insisted he keep his hand there for like, 25 minutes. I was getting occasional bumps and I didn't want him to miss out. Finallyyyyy, the baby let out a huge thump! We both looked at each other instantly and knew. I think I burst into tears. It was love. It's weird, I already feel very maternal about the baby brewing inside me. I never knew I'd feel so connected so early!

Maybe week 19-ish?

To rewind, I first started feeling flutters -- like a butterfly was trapped in there -- around week 18 or so. Now, it's fully kicking the shit out of me all day, every day. Doesn't even distract me anymore, I'm so used to it. It's so strange though.

My tum REALLY popped maybe around week 23-24.

Now I'm coming up on week 26, and James swears I'm bigger than ever. It's funny though -- I am and I'm not. It helps that I have a lot of clothes that are kind of boho/flowy ... so yeah, I still fit into a lot of my stuff. From the side, I think you can definitely tell I'm pregz, without a doubt. But sometimes straight-on, I'm still like ... can people tell? Do they just think I'm fat? GAH.

25 weeks at Destination Maternity.

I did bite the bullet and go clothes-shopping just recently. So far, I've purchased two work dresses (both striped and more form-fitting, from ASOS), a Bella band (stupid, considering you have to readjust it every time you pee, which is every 20 minutes if you're me), two more work/summer dresses (both from Destination Maternity), some work/black pants and three tops (again, all DM).

Oh, and a one-piece, only because it was on sale for $11 and I'm starting to feel large at the pool. Sacramento is still a million degrees, so I won't stop swimming. It's super cool to float around like a human submarine.

Anyway, back to shopping, I heard so much advice about how maternity stores are the worst, and you can get everything you need from H&M, Target and Old Navy ... but that just wasn't the case for me. I stalked all three stores for weeks around the time I was really sprouting my bump, and maybe it's just the locations near me? But they were all disasters. Our Old Navy stressed me out -- there was shit everywhere, and I couldn't tell what was maternity/what wasn't/or even find good deals. It felt like the East Lansing Forever 21. And everything was way too big at Target. Hmm, H&M remains a mystery. Where is that section? Does Roseville not have one?! FINALLY, I couldn't take it anymore, and I popped my head into Destination Maternity last weekend (or maybe the weekend before). Whichever. They got me water as I shopped and it was all over from there. Doesn't take much to hook me, apparently!

I was really impressed though! First of all, I spent $140 on my two dresses, three tops and a pair of nice work pants. The clearance rack was awesome. And they had fun designers like Rachel Zoe and Jessica Simpson. Marked WAY down. I think I'm done shopping, as my main need was work clothes anyway. I can mix and match from here.

YAY.

What else ...

I'm not so tired anymore. I'm starving though. (Cliche but true). I want all the carbs and all the desserts, but I try to eat pretty balanced and healthy for the most part -- which James is super helpful with. He makes really great salads every night with fresh stuff from the farmers market, and ensures I get nutrients and protein (in addition to our ice cream dates). I recently received a lecture on eating too many bagels, and now he makes me egg/turkey breakfast sandos before I leave for work. Love him!

24 weeks on a hike in Auburn. Flowy tops are my friend!

The other day though, I got home from work and he told me he had a surprise.

He found this place called The Parlor that specializes in freshly baked doughnuts filled with ICE CREAM. I felt like I died and went straight to heaven. I ordered a glazed doughnut filled with ice cream called "everything but the," which included fudge, caramel and pretzel bits. To die forrrrrrrr. (James got pink Starburst ice cream in a plain doughnut). Not my style, but still nice! And, we'll try not to make that a regular occurrence -- not trying to give the kid Type 1 and Type 2 diabetes -- but ... it might happen again somewhere down the line. Genius creations.

I also cracked and bought a Snoogle (body pillow) a few weeks ago, and I used to think it was too tall for my neck -- turned out I was Snoogling wrong. The past two nights, I've slept like an absolute ROCK, it's been incred. Sure, I wake up to pee 9,000 times a night, but that's par for the course at this point. I'd only recently gotten a touch uncomfortable (mild hip pain, mostly). Birthday prenatal massage scheduled for Saturday though! Yeah, I bought a birthday massage for myself. Is that lame?

I've read two books so far: "A Panic-Free Pregnancy," and "Belly Laughs." PFP, per my last mention, has helped me relax a ton about the so-called pregnancy restrictions. Anyone who's even trying to conceive should check it out. It's written by a doc and broken up into really easy-to-read chunks, so you can pick it up on a whim and scope a few sections, then quit. Then jump to page 264 randomly and read that part. It's like a coffee-table book, without the pics. Belly Laughs was entertaining enough for a 45-minute read -- Jenny McCarthy is stupid and I was reluctant to touch ANYTHING from her, given the autism shit she stirred up -- but yeah ... it was OK, considering. It made me feel less alone about some of the pregnancy symptoms people are less likely to discuss publicly -- ask if you need to know : )  Totes not publishing these on the blog!

We haven't decorated. We won't even have a nursery right away. We just registered for a few things, AND bought a crib/changing table, but otherwise, I feel behind the grain on these types of things. A post on that will follow! I'm currently investigating breast pumps/cloth diapering/a million other things we'll need.

What else ... (now I'm just rambling). I have a hunch Baby G is a girl, but we're not finding out. I've always wanted to keep it a day-of surprise with my first. If we have 12 kids (ha), maybe I'll find out with the next ones, but it feels really fun to me, not to know the sex on the firstborn. It'll be like, the best present after all that pushing! It's true -- once you're pregz, you realize: all you can ask for is a healthy baby. Cliche but legit.

We have some names in mind -- we've narrowed it down to like, two per sex? But I feel like we can't really decide on a name definitively until we meet the babe. Again, ask if you'd like to know how we're leaning! I won't be disclosing name stuff here; it's too personal and people have weirdly strong opinions ... and they aren't scared to tell you what they hate. (And I hate that). I don't care that you had a shitty ex-girlfriend named Haley once, I won't let you distract me from my favs!

Hmm hmm ... I started my new job at 19 weeks, I believe. Got married at 21 weeks! My new employer is super cool about the sitch. This company just has things HANDLED. I had a hunch they wouldn't be too mad/caught up about it -- I work with a ton of moms. My department is all women. So yeah. Completely different experience, I have to imagine, from working in news! Love it. I'm planning on working up until Baby G makes his or her appearance, again, slated for Dec. 5!

A wedding pic! Still waiting on our other professional pics :)

Back to  the wedding, I picked an A-line dress, expecting I'd have a little bump. In most pics, you can't tell at all. I tried not to get THAT hung up on it, but I also wanted to look my best on my wedding day. I didn't know how I'd show -- maybe I'd be a face-gainer or my skin would act cray. So there was a bit of anxiety leading up to the big day! Luckily, my skin was normal enough and I felt beautiful in my gown. You could probably tell I was a liiiiiiiittle pregz if you knew my body beforehand, but in no way was the dress unflattering. We had the happiest day, that's honestly all I'll remember -- not body issue stuff. I'll have to post an entry JUST about the wedding. It was truly the best, and I'm so lucky I got to marry my best friend.

K, I should keep a running list of what to post about next. Maybe next time: how long we'll be staying in Sac, the birth plan (ha), the shower, how I need to stay away from Pinterest/Instagram (read: away from the overachiever moms), whether I'll come back to work at all or right away ... any topics I'm missing? Keep me posted!

The first trimester: I don't want ANY food

So, at my first prenatal appointment, I was miscalculating my last known period pretty hard, and they gave me a due date of like, Nov. 22 (I think).

I got weighed, and I thought, that number sounds pretty high.

I mean, I knew I was pregnant, but I was only 8-ish weeks at that point. You're not supposed to be tipping the scales so soon; the baby is still like, the size of a chia seed.*

*Need scientific fact-check; likely inaccurate.

For reference, I'm not one of those people who weighs herself incessantly -- or even regularly. We don't own a scale. I judge my workouts/meal plans off how I feel that week and how my pants are fitting. I'm really not one to obsess over a number. I'd rather not know, really. HOWEVER. I do have an idea of what I should weigh (within a few pounds). I have a goal/target weight I like to stick around, and sometimes after hot yoga, I'll check in -- just like, every few months -- to make sure I'm on track and within healthy range.

Anyway, this number was not quite there. This number sounded HIGH.

But like I said, we had just gotten back from vacation the week or two before. I chalked it up to wine + good-food weight, and figured I'd bounce back.

(Yeah, when? Note to self: You're about to grow a human).

So, I weighed a lot. Whatever. They confirmed the pregnancy, which looked healthy -- that's what counts, right? -- we all asked a million questions of one another and I was sent home (with instructions to start taking prenatal vitamins, like, yesterday). James and I scheduled an ultrasound to double-confirm the pregnancy for the following week or two, and that was that.

Just found out I'm with child! RIP, fav phone case.

Like I mentioned last time, I was already feeling TIRED. Like, not even just in my brain. My body, too. All I wanted to do when I wasn't working was snooze. Our nurse, Linda, told me I could pretend I was a cat -- and just curl up with a blanket whenever I felt like it, in a nice warm spot. Loved that advice. I was glad James was in the room to hear it too, because whenever I felt guilty for napping too often in the weeks that followed, he'd reiterate: "You're a cat, boo. What did Linda say? You just worry about finding a nice warm place, I'll deal with everything else."

Side note: He's stuck to that! What a pumpkin Jimmy is. He's been dealing with all the meals, shopping, chores, dishes, etc. I mean, it helps that he doesn't have a job at the moment, but he did back in the first trimester. So thankful for that guy.

Where were we? Yes. Napping. I napped ferociously the first trimester. It was pretty much my main pregnancy symptom. I had a few nights of bad cramping -- which sounds alarming, but it's not, as long as there's no blood -- and several migraines (which were hard, considering you really can't take anything for them, and Tylenol is the worst effing pain-reliever on the market), but ... yeah, I can't report any nausea. I had zero vomiting or morning sickness of any kind. No real food aversions, even the meat department at the grocery store didn't gross me out ... but like, it was strange. I just didn't feel like myself. I wasn't hungry at alllllllllllll.

I'm a super hungry person in general. I love food. I love having seconds, and dessert. (Hence, why I've always been a runner or done all the hot yoga possible. Need to burn the cals somehow)! But yeah, in that first trimester, I was completely uninterested in eating. I forced down milk and OJ for the calcium, took my fishy-smelling prenatal, and generally ate stuff around the house when I realized it had been awhile. It just wasn't the same. Even TACOS didn't sound particularly enticing, and tacos are my fav. I always have a craving for SOMETHING. But during the first tri? Not so much. It wasn't even that my taste buds were whack, I just ... didn't feel like nomming. (First time in my life).

So, guess who weighed in at 136 in one of her following appointments! This guyyyyyyyy, and hey, it's nice to see you, goal weight!

Week 12-13. No bump just yet.

I thought my nurse would be concerned, considering that was quite the drop compared to my very first appointment. But there I was, probably week 12 or so, 136 and skinnier than I'd been in a bit.

She insisted as long as I really was trying my best with food, and still managing to get some nutrients in, I was fine. Thank goodness! I was worried. Even the hashtag #12weekspregnant shows some pretty substantial bumps. (And why? It's still like, the size of a raspberry, isn't it?)

Otherwise, not a ton to report from the first tri! I slept. I lost weight, but not on purp and it wasn't a big deal. The news largely remained a secret -- right up until weeks 12/13, when I finally spilled the beans to more of my fam and the rest of my close friends.

I was also REALLY careful with everything they warn you about: I had 0 coffee. Zero wine. No lunch meat, sushi, you name it. That would all change ... (not to imply I'm boozing on the regs! But I did relax a touch with several of those stupid recommendations).

To be continued, with a second-tri update!

Where to start ... we have some news!

So, I found out I was pregnant as soon as we returned from vacation, and I freaked! Who to tell? When? How are we possibly going to be parents?!??! (Still wondering that last question, actually). I wrote some blog entries about it, but then I sat on them because the news wasn't public yet.

But ... here's one of those entries! (I wrote this June 2, am now publishing on Aug. 21). How the time flies! I'll have to really hop to it -- I'll be 25 weeks pregz tomorrow, and have some real catching up to do! I want to talk about all of it: what I've been eating, buying, etc. How we've been preparing ... so much to say! Anyway, a throwback entry:

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The last time I blogged was April 13.

It is now June 2.

So much has changed! Let's rewind.

I blogged about vacation (in a seven-part series, because of course), and that was really fun to re-live. We unpacked, and went back to work, and I even hit up the workout room in our apartment complex in hopes of toning up after all the wine and delicious food we consumed along the coast.

In fact, it was my first day back at the workout room that I felt something was off. I put in some serious WERK, running like, 3-4 miles at a pretty good clip, lifting weights, riding the bike for 45 minutes to heal my knee (a never-ending process), etc. And then I just hurt. I mean, sure, it was a decently hard workout for someone who's coming back from vaycay, but it wasn't TOO out of the ordinary for me. I go hard in the paint on a pretty regs basis. But there I was, showered and back on the couch an hour later, just like ... exhausted. My hips hurt. I felt like I had been hit with a shovel. I felt like I just completed an IronMan or some shit. Because I know what that feels like. Nottttt.

Anyway, so when I looked at the sitch the next day -- mother of God was I still sore and exhausted, in a truly frightening way -- and I paired it with the fact that my period had been a bit ... irregular/MIA this month, I decided something might be up with my bod. I bought a pregz test on my lunch break, just to rule out a fetus first and foremost. I made the purch, went back to work and promptly forgot about it, then rediscovered the test in my bag as I unloaded my purse around 9 p.m. that night (a Friday).

I was in the mood for Taco Bell and a Parenthood binge -- it had been a long week! So I figured, I'd knock the test out, learn I wasn't pregz, then go try one of those sriracha burrito-crunchwrap-quesadilla-monstrosities and truly kick back.

I peed in a teeny cup -- probably something I had in my cupboard to use for Jello or pudding shots -- and I dipped the pee-stick in, waiting for it to absorb, and then re-capped it and set it flat on my bathroom counter. It was supposed to take 2 minutes to yield a result. I waited.

It took all of 30 seconds to beep, and the word "pregnant" flashed across the screen. (Yeah, I didn't do any of that plus/minus sign BS, I wanted the WORDS). My heart was suddenly in my throat. Pregnant? I knew a couple people who were like, actively trying to get pregnant who were struggling with it. I know people who don't even have anything physically wrong, who it still took like, a year for them to conceive. How could I be pregnant?

I called BS. People get false positives all the time, right? Good thing I peed in that Jello shot container, and still had some leftover for round two.

I dipped the second stick in and got the results back just as fast. Pregnant.

My night of Taco Bell and Netflix was definitely on hold. Suddenly I felt really cold. Then hot. Then just nervous. I have a baby growing inside me, right now? Right this second? What about the wine I just drank on the North Coast or the workout I pounded out the other day? I didn't hurt the baby, did it? How could I have known?

I wrapped myself in a blanket on my bed and shivered there, half paying attention to Modern Family reruns, until James got home from work around 12:30 in the morning.

He came right into the bedroom, took off his belt as he started changing clothes, and asked about my day. And he could definitely see within the moment we locked eyes that something was up. "Are ... you OK?"

"Um yeah no bigs it's just that I'm pregnant and I'm panicking a little and I know we said we'd be together for life anyway but like I'M PREGNANT NOW and I'm nervous and I don't know what to do and I don't know how to have a baby and I didn't even get Taco Bell and I just needed to tell you but I didn't want to call you at work, I'd rather tell you in person and I'm just so scared!"

Word vomit.

I mean, I was excited, don't get me wrong! I've always wanted a baby. But ... the timing had me really freaked.

But he was the sweetest Jimmy I've ever known. He told me to stand up, and wouldn't accept no for an answer, and he gave me the longest squeeze of all time. He was so happy! Tears glistened in his eyes. I was so relieved. I was happy too! All of a sudden it just hit me. (I hadn't even texted or called my mom, Candace, Rach or Natalie). But like, we were having a baby.

We!

Were HAVING. A baby! Are having a baby! He loves it! I love it!

We stayed up probably two or three more hours, just lounging in bed, Jimmer petting my hair, talking about it. All of it. Baby names, whether we'd want to learn the sex, how we'd tell our families, how we'd need to start buying more veggies, schedule doctors appointments ... everything. I felt so much better, the minute I was reminded of what a great life partner I have. (How could I even forget?) I showed him my pee sticks, we shed a few tears and decided things happen for a reason. I was over the moon.

I texted Candace and Natalie the next day. Called my mom that night. For some reason, I was really nervous to tell my parents. I had them both on speaker and blurted it out on the car ride home from an evening grocery-shopping trip. Why was I so scared again? They're the best.

I'm always so surprised when the people in my life are so loving and supportive. But I shouldn't be surprised, ever. I have the best friends and family anyone could ask for. Cliche thing to say, but in this case, TRUE.

Other than those four, I swore James to secrecy -- and everyone else, too. I wanted to call Rachael and my grandma and a million more relatives, but I was nervous. It was early and my mom miscarried several times. I didn't want to tell too many people before the 12th week.

HARDEST SECRET I'VE EVER HELD.