24 months -- 2!

Our baby has been TWO for a few weeks now -- and it's so surreal.

Little lady.

I know I've said it a million times, but it honestly feels like she was just born. I remember it all so vividly. I'm not sure where the months went, but I've enjoyed SO much of our past two years!

Her birthday party was so sweet. Thank you, family and friends, for coming! We stuck with last year's game plan and did a brunch, but I've probably mentioned that already. Quiche and fruit and homemade cinnamon rolls and sausage and home fries ... followed by doughnuts instead of birthday cake? I think this will be our route from here on out. Who doesn't love breakfast?

Doughnut "cake!"

Ana seemed to SORT OF get that it was her birthday, most of the time. She was "cited!" about opening presents. She smeared doughnut frosting on her face in a stereotypical birthday baby move. And now we have 10x the toys! My Aunt Laurie suggested cycling some of this stuff in and out over the coming months, and we're definitely gonna do that.

Even like, for Christmas, Ana didn't seem that into her easel that James and I bought -- it was ALL about her new baby doll and her Elmo slippers -- so he was like, "this will be fun come spring! Let's just say she never saw it and put it back in the basement."

Done and done.

So yeah, her birthday was Dec. 8, we took her to Crossroads Village to ride the train (she loved it!), then out to eat with Meese and Bob, which I think will (or has?) become a tradition. Her party was the next day and then we just got through Christmas.

On the train!

I think the close timing on everything was a little confusing though; she saw the pile of gifts on Christmas Eve and started singing "Happy birthday to youuuu," and then tried to tear into everyone's presents at some point. I was like, "Um, hello miss! Not all those are for you this time around!" lol.

But she seemed to kind of "get" Christmas ... at least, way more than she did last year! (Can you believe this was her THIRD Christmas?)  Anyway, now she knows about Santa (and says "ho ho hooo!"), loves our tree, the "yights" and the "orn-mets" and she's finally more into what's inside the wrapping paper -- as opposed to JUST being jazzed about the paper itself. This was a really fun year, overall!

We did Christmas Eve with the Ortlieb-Berouseks, came back to my parents' and hung out, we WERE gonna do church and dinner, but Ana's nap ran long -- so we just ordered takeout and skipped church altogether (bad Christians, sorry!)  And then we opened gifts with my parents and brother around 8p or so. The three of us Ganleys were going to stay the night, kind of like last year, but we thought it would be fun to have Ana open gifts at our house for the first time on Christmas morning. I lovvvve our front room! We were all set up in there with a real tree and everything.

The only downside was, the drive home on Christmas Eve took FOREVER because it had snowed a bunch, the plow game on I-75 was WEAK, and then we got Ana to bed and I felt so exhausted and sick all of a sudden.  :(

But not all heroes wear capes: James prepped a breakfast casserole for the next morning, wrapped EVERYTHING of Ana's and set up for the next morning, unloaded the car, cleaned the house ... all while I took a steaming hot shower and passed out in a pile of my own drool. I woke up and I was like, "WHO DID THIS?"  AH, it looked incredible in here. He is the best husband and dad.

Proof.

Anyway, Ana got up around 9:30, we did Christmas like we intended, then Ana and I got back in the  car and did a brunch-type thing with the Mahon side of the family -- in Birmingham. Again, it took a longggg time to get into town -- we've been absolutely pummeled with snow lately!

I worked my final shift of 2017 that evening, Ana had an absolute ball running around Aunt Laurie's house with different cousins, and then we slept over at my parents'. James couldn't come to any of it, unfortch, as he had to work (and be physically present in the newsroom).   :(

We missed our fav guy!

And that was Christmas.

We have the nicest family. I'm so grateful for them. And it was great that Uncle Robby could come down, too -- he's not always able to get the holidays off either, based on his job. Speaking of which, his birthday is today, as well.

ANYWAY, back to the Anz part of this blog ... I can't even stress how happy we are to be in Michigan. For her sake and our own! The cold temps kind of suck rn, but like, we're just so lucky to be surrounded by relatives and love. I can't imagine Ana growing up without her tribe. I'm sure we would have made it work, because we wouldn't have had another option, but this has been just perfect.

Anz, experiencing snow for the first time this season

Analisa was so much fun with everyone over the hols. There's truly never a dull moment, and in big group settings, we were even just saying, we've never had to like, remove her. She's honestly happy the whole time, she goes with the flow, she eats whatever we eat, she plays with anyone up for it (even getting a little bossy at times, forcing my cousin Sarah to "run. Runnnnn!") and she's such a delight. She's even been getting a little less shy these days ... her warm-up period around "new" people (or people she doesn't see often) used to be maybe a half-hour. Now it's like, give her a few minutes and she's good!

She loves to yell, "I've got it!" and do things all on her own. She's very independent, but in the best way possible.

Of course, she has her moments at home when it's just the three of us, when she can be a little difficult -- but mostly, you just have to get more and more inventive when it comes to distractions or changing her surroundings or snapping her out of it. It's def not as easy as it used to be. But in no way would I say the terrible 2s have arrived. (And yes, I've been warned that sometimes with girls, 3 can be worse).

But I'm pretty convinced her personality really is THIS loving. She loves us, Meese and Bob, her sitters, her "fwens," and she's even asking about more and more people every day. "Tweesa? Laurie? Carol?" for example.

She tells us what she wants. Her vocabulary is honestly so impressive. She makes sure her needs are met and she shows so much love! It melts me.

Cutie cutes!

She'll still fight a nap a few days a week, but she takes more than she skips, so we'll accept that.

We switched pediatricians and THAT'S a story for another day, but the moral from our first visit is that we like the doctor herself -- and Ana continues to be the healthiest, which is what matters.

Every other day, she changes her vote on whether the baby in my "belly" is a boy or a girl. Haha. Just tonight, she said "boy" pretty confidently. But I swear, a day or two ago, she was back to girl. I guess we won't know till we know! Her bag is all packed, and she's ready to go to Meese and Bob's, for whenever that day arrives.  :)

I've had like, 99 problems throughout the end of this pregnancy, I swear. My latest is that the baby's head is so low that (s)he's causing nerve pain in my hip flexors -- on the right side especially. I'm happy to report (s)he's moved just a touch since last week, which alleviated some of the pain and pressure, but I'm still pretty ... sore. And I'm not as mobile as I'd like. I'm also not supposed to lift Ana or do stairs (lol). I was in tears last week, just hauling Ana from my SUV, up my parents' front steps and into the house. That was really bad. And my right leg like, just wasn't even working for some time.

I was all, "It can't be like this for the final few weeks, can it?" And the doctor was like, "Actually, yep!"

OMG.

Anyway, like I said, it shifted a bit, but now I have this gross cold. It's not the worst thing that's ever happened, but like, I really don't want to be in the process of delivering, which is already uncomfortable af, and unable to breathe. Because that's the current sitch: I'm stuffed up, I have a sore throat and sometimes I get super hot and then super cold.

Fun, I know. Home stretch! I'll be 39 weeks as of Thursday.

So yeah, I'm straying off course again, but this is what's up at the moment! We have a 2-year-old, she's a lot of work -- thank goodness for my huzb and my parents -- a baby en route any day and we're READY. (Ish). But like I've said before, I think Ana will be the best big sister. No doubts about that, actually. I've continued to tear up about it a bit, just because it's a big transition, but like, we're so excited for all that's to come.

Some days it seems overwhelming too, but moms survive this all the time! We got this. We're so lucky for that little Anzy girl and we're elated to meet No. 2. Even if it will involve a whole bunch of stuff that I've forgotten, like boob pain and sleepless nights and pump parts and cradle cap :)

Thank you for reading two years worth of baby updates, broken down by month! Like I've mentioned, I'll continue to write, but probably not as regularly. But we could be diving into some more FUN topics too, so expect plenty of that!

xoxo, and thanks for being my people.

To my daughter on her second birthday.

Dec. 8, 2017

To my sweet Analisa,

It was exactly two years ago when we first met. The doctors lifted you up, told me you were a girl and set you on my chest. I fed you. I rubbed that weird white stuff -- vernix? -- into your delicate skin. I inhaled your sweet scent, and then exhaled, relieved that the past 24 hours could start becoming a distant memory. Labor wasn't as horrible as everyone made it sound, but it was HARD. (But ever so worth it).

We locked eyes and you were mine in an instant. It was like I knew you already, and maybe I did. I knew your kicks, and what your hiccups felt like from the inside, and I knew without even thinking twice that you were my baby, and that would never change.

It WILL never change.

You have a new baby brother or sister on the way, my sweet girl, but know this: You will always be my first baby. You taught me how to be a mom.

Even in the simplest of places around the house, I'm taken back to our earliest memories together -- even if we weren't in this house, per se. But some days I'll just be tidying up and I'll pass by the brown couch. I transformed into a mom on that couch, usually sitting on the far left side, wedged up against those cozy pillows, with your tiny body in my arms.

We must have spent WEEKS on that couch, maybe even months, if you added all the time together: nursing, trying to nurse more successfully, sometimes losing a few tears over it all, eventually bottle-feeding, or just sharing a quiet moment between the two of us. Like me, holding you or rocking you. Or singing "Landslide" by Fleetwood Mac for the 40th time that day. (Are you sick of that song yet? You can tell me now).  ;)

We shared that couch with Daddy, too, SO often in the early days. Just the three of us, getting snuggly. And we filled the space with books and blankets and your giggles, and probably some crumbs from various snacks, as well. (We'll have to get rid of that couch sooner rather than later, I think).

We've tackled these past two years together, my Ana. You learned how to be a baby -- that "fourth trimester" is tough, right? -- and I learned how to be your mama. Some days, you'd cry. One day, I cried with you, and whispered that I didn't know how to do it, either. I felt a little lost at times, although I've always tried to stay confident, no matter what. It's easy to take all of the advice, and none of the advice, all at the same time.

Still, I remember once, sitting in my grandma's empty-feeling condo, missing James, who was adjusting to the new job and long newsroom hours, wondering if I was doing OK with the whole "new mom" gig. We had uprooted our lives for this move to Michigan, I had left my career (and probably still had some post-partum hormones flowing through), and it was just ... such a transitional time for everyone.

But I feel like you've always understood, on some weird, intrinsic level. Maybe that sounds crazy. But even when you were upset and I'd ask you to dance it off with me, I feel like you got the hang of it -- like, that's just who your weirdo mom was. You went with it. You are so loving and easygoing.

We tackled each day together. Some were easier than others, but most included naps -- and naps are the best, aren't they? Those make everything better.

I felt so good when I woke up one day and realized how much you seemed to trust me. And James, of course. You really are our girl.

I hope you know you can always trust Daddy and me. Even though you'll never REALLY remember the early days, I hope they brought you comfort and security.

We've had the absolute happiest days: Your first giggle. Your first belly laugh. First steps. This summer, your first scraped knees (although, we also started the game "who's gonna kiss baby's boo-boo?", which added a silver lining). Days at the park, or strolling the mall ... or just sharing a snack with you in the kitchen, making silly faces at each other. I can't say I've loved EVERY moment -- after all, you went through a phase where you'd scream when the yogurt ran out -- but I've loved about 99% of our time. You are the best baby. You're growing into the best toddler. And I can't wait to see what kind of girl you become.

I wouldn't change a thing.

And from here, I want you to continue growing up with everything we've tried to provide early on: mainly, comfort and security. You're so smiley and kind to people. I don't doubt that that'll continue. I hope you find friends who make you the happiest version of yourself. Keep bringing me books. (One day, you can read to me!) Keep learning. Keep counting. Never stop dive-bombing into our arms, or sneaking up on me with an "o-prize!" (surprise), or striking up boisterous songs with mama at the grocery store.

One day maybe you'll go to college -- or you won't. One day maybe you'll marry a wonderful man or woman -- or you won't. There will never be pressure from us. People live a million different ways, and I trust that you're going to be incredible no matter what. I trust you to live your life in the way you see fit.

And if you wake up one morning and come to terms with the fact that you've picked or done something that no longer brings you joy, I hope you have the strength to rewrite your story. It's never too late, my baby. I am with you. We are with you.

I am so proud to know you, so grateful to spend so much time with you, and SO lucky to be the one you call "mama." It's by far my best title yet.

I'm in awe of the tiny person you're becoming. You'll always be my baby first, my friend second, and I hope you know that nothing you could do would EVER drive me away. You and me and daddy: We embody unconditional love to the fullest.

Keep being you. (We'll work on limiting the fruit snacks, over time). I hope you know how much joy you've brought to our lives.

I love you, bear -- a bushel and a peck.

Love,

Your mama

23 months!

Miss Ana-bear, Ana-boo and Ana-babe is 23 months!

Well, she's turning 2 in three days. So per usual, I'm doing her monthly update way late.

She is ... CUTER THAN EVER (said me, every month). Photographic evidence follows:

Posing like such a little lady.

Seriously though. James and I dropped her off with Grandma Leese and Grandbob a few weeks ago while we ran up to Whole Foods for our quarterly splurge, and she fell asleep there, as we expected her to. Jim and I grabbed a bite afterward and we didn't get back to RO until probably 9 or 9:30. So we picked her up out of the Pack n Play, transferred her (half-asleep) to the car and started driving back home. (I call this "Von Trapping," as in, the Von Trapp family, per Sound of Music -- when you sneak off into the night). Anyway, we were backing out of the driveway, evading Nazis, etc., when we just heard this tiny, sleepy little voice say in a near-whisper, "Bye, Meese. Bye, Bob."

Is that not the sweetest thing?

She'll do the same thing with "friends." ... "Bye Dipsy!" she shouts to her green "Tubby" as we leave my parents' house each Wednesday morning.

Or James and Ana will be playing at Target while I shop, and Anz will find me in an aisle and go, "MAMA! MAMA! HI! HI!" And she runs up to me with such vigor and love. Omg, it warms my heart.

Just today, we were eating McDonalds (I'm mom of the year over here, I know), and I said, "Look Ana! You've got fries and mama's got fries!" She thought about it long and hard for a minute, then gave me a sassy little head shake, lifted her fry to mine and said, "CHEERS!"

And we clinked fries. OMG. I was laughing so hard!

I shouldn't be *that* impressed by all these little things, though.

I mean, girlfriend's basically speaking in sentences most days. Here are a few: "I did it!"  "I like Street!" (Street is Sesame Street, for reference). "Here you go!"  "What happened?"  "Where's Daddy?"  (Or when I tell her I'm gonna come get her: "I'll get YOUUU!") James and I keep lol'ing at that last one. She said it to me when she was strapped into her car seat, so I was like, "COME TRY ME, BEAR!"

Live bear!

She loves the concept of family, too. "Mama, dada, Ana, FAMY."

The other day, I even asked, "Who else is going to be in our family pretty soon?" And I kid you not, Emily as my witness, she replied, "BABY!" I went on to ask her if it would be a boy or a girl, and she said "SISTER" pretty clearly. Again, no exagg! Emily was THERE. We clarified and she said, "girl!"

Then the next morning, James asked her the same thing, and she stuck with her gut: "Seester!" She wants us to name her Juicy. <--- lolol

It was only a few hours later that she changed her vote and started saying brother. (We'll name him "Cider," she says).  Still, we're at 2 votes from Ana that it's a girl, vs. 1 vote that it's a boy. So who knows.

... I can't believe it's Dec. 5. (Also, this was my due date with Ana!)

My due date for #2 is less than a month away. I'm on weekly ob-gyn appointments. The baby will be here like, SOON. Is that surreal for anyone else? (S)he feels so much higher up this time. I was woken up this morning by some really high kicks to the rib cage. I was like, "How did you even get UP there?" I realize it's just the feet, but ... hmmm. And ouch.

We're pretty excited over here! (Not that we've done much around the house. We'll get there, right?) Just gotta get through Ana's birthday.

Beep beep!

Changing gears, back to the ANA part of our Ana blog, for about the fifth or sixth time now, James and I have been all, "K this is finally it. She's getting sick. Let's take her temperature and finally buy a nose Freida and get into high gear." Two weekends ago, after almost a full work week spent living at my parents' for the holiday, Anz seemed so stuffy and run down, once we finally returned home. She even slept with us (basically on top of me, which is comfortable when you're 34 weeks pregnant), one night, which was just like, the worst.*

*I mean, I obviously love looking over at that little face, and she seemed to actually sleep in our bed, unlike in her crib. But I had no space to myself, she was waking up with tears on the hour, and it was all just so unlike her.  :(

So the next morning, Anz and I shared plenty of cuddles on the couch, I got her to eat some breakfast, we played quietly for a bit and I put her down for her afternoon nap a little earlier than usual -- just as a test.

(Also, we had tried to take her temp, but I could only find her pacifier thermometer, which she kept fiddling with and spitting out. We got every reading from 93 degrees to 103 degrees. Naturally, we were like, "Whatever, let's deal with it later," and never got around to it). She did feel hot. I Motrined her on two separate occasions.

... But anyway, yeah. This is where her sick story ends. Because she honestly woke up from her nap completely cured and back to her crazy little self.

Maybe it was the Motrin? It hadn't even been 24 hours of the yuckies. Or maybe we were RIGHT at the one-day mark? Regardless, Anz woke up and was just like, "I'm baaaack!" Jumping in her crib, acting nuts, no longer feeling warm to the touch, no more stuffiness, full of energy and life.

Like I said, this has been our experience her entire life with the bear getting "sick."

She'll be kind of symptomatic for anywhere from an hour to a day, and then just as we think to investigate further, she's over it. Ain't nobody got time for that. I realize she doesn't do day care, which a lot of people like to credit for her good health, but I swear, this girl has the immune system of a straight champion. And plus, just because she's not in day care ... I still take her out plenty and we're really not all that clean around here.

(I mean, we're not *religiously* clean. We obviously tidy up daily, bathe her, do all the things we're supposed to do. I just don't, say, vacuum or mop or anything regularly. James ... kind of does). Depends on the week or the month. Also, she's known to eat tomatoes off the ground at the farmers market. So go figure.

Love bug.

ANYWAY.

We also had theeeee cutest day with her, like, of all time. My days kind of run together, so I'm not sure WHEN it was, but it was within the past few weeks. Even James got into bed that night, all like, "that was the MOST FUN day! She wasn't even cranky for one second and she was so loving and sweet! I LOVE HER TO PIECES!" ... I realize it might be hard for some people to picture James all up on cloud nine over his daughter. But oh, it happens. He is such a vocal and loving husband and dad. I can't even tell you.

Anyway, Cutest Day Ever 2017 included Anz just like, bouncing between us, quite literally. She was like, running and leaping into our arms at one point. Giggles all around, just like, the happiest girl. Nothing set her off. All she wanted to do was play and love us.

I don't know HOW I was chosen to be her mom, but it makes me a little misty sometimes when I think about it too hard. I always knew I wanted to be a mom someday, but she just makes everything worth it: the sleepless nights (which are now pretty rare), the frustrating moments (which def happen), the time, the money, the effort ... she is just our absolute world. I do think we have room in our hearts for another baby (of course), but I also think #2 is gonna have to bring his or her A-game when it comes to competing with Little Miss Anz. She is such a dream. I didn't even know it was possible to have a daughter like her.

Boops!

On the parenting front, I'm still working my way through Harvey Karp! Trying to treat Ana like a person, but still keeping in mind that she's a person -- not an adult. You can't reason with her on everything. You shouldn't try to explain intricate shit if she's in the middle of a breakdown. That's just frustrating. Our world can be very overwhelming and stimulating for someone her size/age. You have to be patient, learn how to get through to her, understand where she's coming from, and be careful not to let your own experiences/trauma/pain from the past (if you have any) seep into the mix. It can be a real challenge!

The HK toddler book has also taught me a lot about adapting and modifying my own behavior, based on who exactly Ana is: Which I believe is ... easy but cautious, observant, a thinker, spirited, but not impulsive. I think back on her first steps, as in, walking -- which were taken almost a year ago. She really wasn't one to get after it and lunge away, falling left and right, perfecting her craft. She was very calculated and methodical. She didn't take on what she couldn't handle. That embodies who I think she is.

I mean, and if you're wondering what I'm getting at with all of this ... basically, it's just that you can't handle all TODDLERS with one toddler label and the perfect toddler solutions. (Well, do those even exist?) You have to consider who these tiny people are at their cores, and what might work best specifically for them.

Anyway, I'll leave you with a few fav Ana phrases as of late. So cute, you might die. Just a warning!

-- Hooray!
-- Lights! (Mostly referring to Christmas "yights")
-- New diaper! (Yes, she'll request this but is still putting up some resistance to the potty. Shrug).
-- Drawing! (Or), crayons, please!
-- No way, no way! <-- Always promising when you walk past her door during nap time and hear her chanting this
-- Ready, set, go!
-- Ready, set, jump!
(Singing the Happy Birthday song*)
-- Santa
-- Christmas
-- O-prize! (Surprise!)

-- Bless you! (Likes to bless herself)

-- Hop, hop, hop (obsessed with bunnies)
-- All aboard! (obsessed with trains) also, CHOO CHOOOOO

-- Hi mom! 

-- Hi dad! 

-- Bye buddy! 

-- High-five, buddy!

*She's so into the concept of birthdays right now, I can't WAIT for Friday and Saturday! My mom even got her a Melissa & Doug "cake" and Aunt Carol got her two birthday books -- like, both of those gifts came about a month ahead of her birthday. Really leads into the build-up! I probably should have done a theme or whatever, because she's really into trains and Sesame, but ... nah. The theme is BIRTHDAY PARTY with delicious brunch. Does that work for everyone? ;)

We're also finally changing pediatricians (no major beef, I just didn't much care for our last doctor, and I figure you should like the person if you're gonna have two kids), anddddd Ana went to the Detroit Zoo for the first time. WORTH IT! We've been waiting for the zoo entrance fee to pay off. I didn't wanna take her if she couldn't enjoy it. It was like magic, you guys. If you have a toddler, now is the time! Take that baby to the zoo.

My forever baby.

OK, I've rambled long enough (says me, every time).

See you when Ana's 14 for her 24-month update! ;)

PS we got our first Christmas tree. I'll tell you all about it next time!

My guide to surviving a (mostly) natural childbirth

That's a super annoying blog post title, isn't it?

I don't really have a guide. I just have five tips. But I work in the business of writing snappy headlines, and I just thought that one might get me some more clicks. Please forgive.

Anyway, because I'm the ultimate over-sharer, I'll give you some background here before I dive into the topic at hand: Last time I was pregnant, I was between jobs. Meaning, I had to switch insurance providers around week 18 (and I was actually UNINSURED for at least a full month. That wasn't stressful at all, nope). I even missed my 20-week anatomy scan completely because of this, and I had to get it done once my new insurance plan kicked in, at like, 28 weeks. Awesome.

So, once I finally got enrolled with Kaiser Permanente, a lot of the doctors and midwives were all, "OMG, yes. We need to get you seen and scheduled for 90 things and more bloodwork has to be done and did you make a birth plan and MAN your due date is soon. You signed up for childbirth class, right? Tell me you signed up for childbirth class."

I had not.

Apparently I was supposed to do this STAT, like, upon my enrollment with KP, but I was way behind, and working a million hours a week, so I had to stalk this one phone line and try to sneak our way into a class. These fill up months in advance and are only offered on Saturdays.

I finally was able to schedule something ... for when I was 38 weeks. I think the woman manning the phone line just felt bad for me. Haha, and then my class was filled with all these tiny little things who were like, "I'm due in May! Teehee!" Meanwhile I could barely see over my bump, and I was all, "yeah, I'm due in a week or two." Our instructor was even like, "OMG you're to term! Why are you here?"

Good question, ma'am. I'm irresponsible.

Also, we were definitely the least serious people in class, despite my impending due date, and I remember laughing so hard that I cried and possibly peed a little. Just over something stupid with James. Oh and I followed the MSU-Maryland football game on my phone all morning. It was an eight-hour class! Although I will say, I was glad we went, even if I used approximately ZERO of the tips they provided. It did give me some idea of what to expect, what the different phases of childbirth entailed, etc.  It was nice to check that item off my list.

HOWEVER. At one point, we had to go around the room and say how we envisioned labor unfolding. Like, did we want the epidural upon arriving at the hospital, or were we hoping to go natural, or what? I gave my usual answer: "I'm not like, dead set against the epidural, but I'd like to give labor a shot and see how it goes before I decide if I need the drugs."  And then after class, one of the instructors who had identified as going all-natural several times, was available for questions. So I asked her how she did it. She said that she and her husband used the Bradley Method, but there obviously wouldn't be enough time for us to follow suit (for those of you who are unfamiliar, classes run for 12 weeks if you go that route).

When I asked if she had any other recommendations on how to survive without an epidural, she kind of ... laughed at me? I mean, she was nice enough overall; there was just something in her tone that seemed kind of condescending. And her giggle was like, "Oh, this silly girl who didn't even pay attention in class. Best of luck to you!" Anyway, she advised me to read "The Thinking Woman's Guide to a Better Birth" and kind of sent me on my way.

This is when I kind of panicked.

I was all, "Damn it, why didn't we take a class sooner? Or research the Bradley Method or hypno-birthing or SOMETHING? Did I honestly believe I was going to survive this on my own?"

And James said something like, "Yes. You will because you're stubborn. I doubt you'll get the epidural, just because you're difficult like that and now you have something to prove, and plus, didn't our moms survive natural labor? I doubt they enrolled in like, a special 12-week class. Women have been doing this since the dawn of time."

He's my ride or die, fa sho. Also, solid points.

So, I proceeded to order that book on Amazon (it was pretty good actually, although I mostly skimmed it), and then I think I borrowed a book on hypno-birthing -- that, or I Googled the absolute shit out of it -- and I just kind of made a plan: I would pretend labor was a super long bikram yoga class, I would play dead in between contractions, keep my mind CALM and low-key af, and breathe. I think I ended up pretending each contraction would only last seven deep breaths. I would survive.

And, spoiler alert, I did.

I think for the sole purpose of proving that childbirth class instructor wrong, I didn't get the epidural. Also, I felt largely in control of my labor, with only one section where I kind of felt overwhelmed (this was transition). You can read my full birth story here, if you choose, but without further ado, I'll (finally) share five tips on how to survive without a needle in your spine.*

*And for me, that's really what this thing came down to, outside of wanting to test my body and my limits: Did I want a needle in my back? For some reason, I was very freaked out by the idea. I really wasn't trying to be a hero -- and I'm also not saying I'm dead set against an epidural for baby #2, if the situation really warranted one. I'll just have to think long and hard about that needle.

A quickie reminder of why we endure this at all. Baby snuggs! (This was snapped about 3 seconds after pushing her out).

Also, final final aside, but I just wanted to say that I give 0 f's about how you delivered your baby: C-section, epidural, no epidural ... I truly don't judge. I just wanted to do what felt right for me, which was attempting a drug-free, vaginal childbirth. I say that my experience was MOSTLY natural because I recently heard some girl say hers didn't count because she had to get oxygen at the end. WHAT!!! In that case, I had a Tens Unit on my lower back for an hour or so (which is a fancy massage tool), something slipped into my IV for an hour or so (I had been awake 24+ hours, and had been in hard labor for awhile, so we decided I needed to rest up before pushing), and the nurses slipped me some oxygen for the major event itself. (Actually, I didn't even get to weigh in on that. I was just gassed and they put it on me). I would say zero of these interventions made any damn difference in my pain level -- I still felt ... basically everything. But if those are gonna stop me from claiming natural labor, then so be it. I was *mostly natural,* sorry to let you down, Kaiser volunteer who I'll never see again.

(Actually I bet that lady's so pumped that she was right).

ANYWAY ANYWAY.

I just wished I could have read something like this before I gave birth. So in the hopes of helping just one of you, here are my five tips on surviving without an epidural:

1.) Either zone in or zone out. No middle ground.

This applies to contractions.

For me, contractions were the tough part. K, maybe not till I was like, a 5 or a 6, but once they started coming in hot and fast without much recovery time in between, is when I had to put in the bulk of the work. When I say "zone in," I mean, if you're gonna ride the wave of the contraction, ride it. Breathe through it. Envision how good it will feel once it passes. Remember that the pain is temporary and manageable. Each step brings you closer to meeting your baby. Concentrate on your breath and remain calm, above all else. On the flip side, if you're gonna zone out, zone tf out. I had SportsCenter on my TV in the background, and I had watched the same Redskins highlights about 94 times (mostly because SC kind of plays on a loop overnight). I didn't think about the game, I didn't think about what was happening down below, I just focused on the shapes on the TV and put my head somewhere -- anywhere -- else.

Just arriving at the hospital. I clearly had no idea what I was in for. PS should I bring my own hospy gown this time?

2.) BREATHE.

I know, breathing has already come up a few times, and it's kind of a theme here. But I mean it! You will not survive if you get all panicky and you cry and you overthink things or you're scared for the pushing or what's to come down the road. Stay in the moment. Follow your breath. I swear I mean it when I say, I didn't have time or energy to panic. (And I kind of wanted to, at times). But I knew it would throw off my ENTIRE GAME PLAN if I freaked. So I held off. I breathed through my nose sometimes, through my mouth other times, I alternated nostrils, and I tried to get as many deep ones in as I possibly could. I learned this from hot yoga, but breathing really feels good if you're doing it properly. It's like, medicinal. Plus, I thought my body would take cues from my brain, so I knew the key to mental relaxation involved as much airflow as possible. The only downside was, my lips got chapped af probably halfway through, and I was so focused that I really didn't/couldn't slather on some Chappie until I was done. Also I lost my voice.

Another yoga tactic for you: Take a few minutes (well, take as long as you can, really), to focus on releasing each part of your body. You never know where you might be holding onto tension. Relax your hands. Your fingers. Your neck. Your throat. Your shoulders. Until you're melted into a puddle on the bed. Repeat every few hours. Breathe evenly throughout this process. You need distractions, and this is a really helpful way to go.

3.) Try different things.

I actually did not take this tip that I'm doling out, but I hope to with #2. The nurses kept being like, "Try a new position! Wanna walk around? Let's have James massage your lower back!" And I shook my head in silence: nope, nope, nope.

The nurses did seem to want to help. I thought I'd want to be mobile: walking the stairs, bouncing on my birthing ball, taking a hot shower ... but because my water had broken, and my hips/lower back were in excruciating pain (Ana was sunny side up), all I could do was alternate between sitting and lying, and I wanted nothing to do with anyone.

So like, if the tip "try different things" doesn't apply to you either, just know that listening to your body is just as important. I thought I was letting the nurses down at first, for being so unwilling, but James was like, "this is your show. You do you." <--- A wise one, he is.

But I still like the idea, in theory, of mixing it up.

#goals

4.) No talking.

Save your energy for the breath. Unless you truly have something to say, I found it to be easier to STFU and get into my zone. I dismissed James (politely) and he largely slept all night.

It's like, have you ever been so truly exhausted that you couldn't even lift a pinkie? I think back on track practice in high school where we'd have to run four 400-meter dashes in a row, all under a certain time, or we'd have more rounds tacked on. God those were painful. I was pushed to my limit so bad, I could just collapse in the infield during my minute or so off, and I swear I couldn't even lift my hands over my head. I would just die for 60 seconds. I needed all my energy for the next round.

It's kind of like that. If you're in transition, or you're getting close, even talking will feel like a major task that might derail you or knock you out of the game. I found it easiest to just avoid. And that's big time, coming from me. I'm chatty.

5.) Save your strength.

This is kind of what I just touched on. Don't waste your energy on dumb shit -- pour it into the task at hand. And eat a full meal before you go in, which will give you strength -- I thought a handful of pretzels was cute, but then we snuck in a large Jimmy John's order right before I got IV'd up, and I honestly don't think I would have made it through without that sub.

(And this is despite the fact that I went through a nauseated period where I was like, "Damn it #2 with an oatmeal raisin cookie, I will VOM on my bathrobe if someone doesn't bring me a bucket!") <--- Guess I broke the no-talking rule for that little tirade.

And yes, I know, I know. Most hospitals won't let you eat once you get checked in. Kaiser was boss. But don't be like me. If your water breaks or you feel like you might be heading to the hospital soon, get some FUEL in there! Eat a big meal with protein. Also, who knows when the next time is that you might be able to eat?

Also ALSO, ain't no hunger like a post-birth hunger. So start brainstorming now on where you'll send your husband for take-out. We did Indian after Ana, but this time I'm thinking Italian.

-----

The best thing I can compare labor to is a race, if you've ever run any type of distance. Toward the end, when you have 0 in the tank, you just kind of have to power forward anyway, keep your legs pumping and your breath moving, envision the end, and the next thing you know, you'll be done. Of course, I've only had one baby. (Again, and this was just MY experience and I realize a lot of these go differently). I don't mean to make it sound too hard or too easy. I think my mom made it sound WAY too easy, and I remember thinking in the heat of the moment, "CHRIST this is hard!"

And then I was so scared to push. I even told the nurse right when I thought it was time, "I don't know how to do this! This is the part I've mostly feared!" and she was all, "You've done GREAT. Just follow our instructions, breathe, and the baby will be here in no time." She was right. Pushing felt weirdly good, and even the moment Ana's head finally slipped out -- it wasn't so bad. I'd way rather push her out than be dialated to an 8 all over again, questioning if the end was near.

I don't even remember "the scary part" all that clearly -- I swear, I couldn't, even like, a few days postpartum. You just go into this zone and it's almost an out of body experience.

But I really think that if you go in expecting to put in the work, and you want to labor naturally, you can do it. (It is called LABOR, after all). I mean, and if you don't wanna do it, that's cool too! But don't be intimidated by the process, and don't read or listen to the horror stories. I promise it doesn't have to be that bad.

8 pounds, 13 ounces of pure chunk.

Now someone please remind me that labor No. 2 is typically a lot shorter! Because I half wrote this post to renew my own confidence. I remember the intensity and I'd be lying if I said I wasn't still a touch nervous.

xoxo and good luck!

What the hell should I buy for Baby G the sequel?

I'll start this by saying that we have a TON of stuff in our basement. There isn't a lot that we need, I have to imagine.

Still, when Ana was teeny tiny, I wasn't working, and I had no plans to go back (possibly ever).

Meaning, there were a few things that I never got around to buying. I felt weird about dipping into James' money (OK, *our* money), on every last product that caught my eye. Because a LOT caught my eye.

For example: a Sophie the giraffe. People swear by that thing! I contemplated grabbing one probably only every time I was at Target in the early days, but I could never justify the $25 price tag for just another chewie, when we had a million at home. Similar sitch with the Mamaroo. GOSH, ever since I saw it in action (also at Target), I was mesmerized. Like, "Why didn't we register for that again?" ... But for $220, plus the newborn insert, I never pulled the trigger. And once we were back to being a two-income family, I felt like Ana was too big for a lot of this stuff, so it just never got purchased.*

*Update: I found a Mamaroo for sale in one of my Facebook moms groups -- for $40! I've seen them on resale sites for about $100, but never as low as $40. I dashed out in my sweats on my dinner break about 3 minutes after I spotted the listing, swung by an ATM and picked up that thing tout suite. I've tested it out and it seems to work out so far! Also it's very clean and new-looking.

This wonderful car is from Jenny and Jared. THANK YOU guys!

Anyway ANYWAY. Tell me what baby stuff you love, or loved! I'm now taking any and all recommendations: for a new baby, for older babies to keep them occupied through nursing sessions and such, to use on both of them, etc.

Is there anything you regretted not buying sooner? Or an awesome item that kept you sane with two under 2? (Ana and new baby will be two years + 1 month apart, so we're not EXACTLY two under 2, but we're pretty close).

Anddddd just for reference ... we already have: a Rock n Play, a Pack n Play, a bassinet, way too many clothes (even for each sex at first, seeing as we didn't know if Ana were a boy or a girl), nursing stuff, pumping supplies, most toys, two strollers, an infant car seat, a video monitor, bath stuff, a crib, bedding, hella books, a Bumbo seat, high chair and probably about 40 more things I'm forgetting.

Still, here are some of the items we're considering --

-- A Dock-a-Tot (for travel, or even to more safely bedshare with new babes, if it comes down to that).
-- That crazy Magic Merlin sleep suit (everyone loves this, right?)
-- A better baby-wearing system (the K-Tan was fine when Anz was tiny). But she started feeling claustrophobic in there maybe around 6-8 months. What should we get? I'm leaning toward a Tula.
-- A white noise machine? (I don't know, should we?)
-- Humidifier? Nose Frida? (Ana still hasn't really ... gotten sick. So I'm unprepared in this arena).
-- Will I need two of anything? High chairs, perhaps?
-- A cheapie monitor, perhaps? (Like, not even the video kind?) To listen in on both of them?

And we'll definitely need a double stroller, although new babes will be born in the dead of winter, so I feel like there's kind of no rush. Also, I'm feeling incredibly overwhelmed with all the options and indecisive about it. ANDDDD many are like, $500-1,000, so ... this is one spot where I'm counting on you, dear friends, to tell me which double stroller I need.

Because we have the necessities, I'll likely wait a lot of this stuff out and see what I *actually* need <--- which I recommend to all new moms. Still, I feel like it's helpful to narrow the field and see all the items I might be purchasing in the near future.

32 weeks today, y'all. Finally getting BIG.

Finally, someone is selling a Mima Xari stroller (which is not a double) on one of my FB groups for $100. It looks like it's in really good shape, and I just found out the thing retails for $1500. Is it impractical to buy it, because we already have two strollers? Or should I hope on that shit ASAP because that's one hell of a deal and this thing looks amaz? Please weigh in, please and thanks!

All our baby favs!

I don't know about you, but I love reading about what products people use. You name it -- makeup, kitchenware, etc.

So I thought I'd share some of our baby favs!

I will say, some products that I swear by, might not work for your baby. So many kids are diff; it can be hard to find what's effective for you guys. Because babies are people too, you know? A shampoo that you're obsessed with, might make my hair greasy. Or a lotion that clears up your dry patches might not be enough for my stubborn skin. You feel?

But I will say, my sister-in-law has been asking me for recommendations from time to time -- ever since she gave birth to our adorable niece, Emma, and it got me thinking: I should write a list!

Just because.

---------

So here are our favs, nearly 2 years in:

Shampoo: Johnson & Johnson, just that stuff in the classic yellow bottle (honestly, I always knew I wanted to go this route. The smell is so classic BABYish; I love it). Also, we only ever wash Ana's hair probably twice a week. Unless there's like, food in there, or she's had a sweaty week, why bother? (Also, we only JUST started using conditioner, like, this month. I just use a tiny spot of whatever's in the shower, which likely means cheap V05 stuff that I use on myself).

Body wash: Mustela 2-in-1 cleansing gel (is a touch expensive), but probably the best stuff we've found. It's sold at Target. (Sometimes when I'm feeling cheap, I'll skip it and just buy whatever, but if you truly want to know my recommendation on the best of the best, this is it).

Diaper rash: Desitin, duhhhh. This is honestly the holy grail of baby products. I swear, you'll spot some skin irritation, rub on the Desi at night, and the whole sitch is cleared by morning. HOW? It's magic.

Teething remedies: Baby Tylenol or ibuprofen, depending on how old the baby is. Why waste your time with amber necklaces when you could just nip it in the bud and treat the problem directly? Also, as we learned, just because Ana didn't cut her first tooth until ... 7 months? 8 months? Didn't mean she couldn't start teething months in advance. Because oh, she did. The drool was REAL.

Lotion: Aveeno -- fragrance-free and for delicate skin.
***Although, I was highly opposed to lotion until she truly needed it. Infant skin is so soft and precious on its own, you know? I wouldn't use lotion unless you notice your baby is especially dry, or she really needs it. Anyway, during the cold winter months, right after Ana's first birthday, she got crazy dry on the backs of her arms and legs ... rough and scaly, almost. Our doctor's office gave us like, 10 samples and told me to pick a fav. Aveeno definitely won out. (Although I will say, a lot of the brands did a pretty stand-up job. The only real dud, I thought, was Honest Company lotion).

Cradle cap: Coconut oil or rose salve (we did a combo of both), massaged into the head daily or near-daily -- although yes, this makes for a greasy baby. Gotta love that. Ana's CC was pretty stubborn, so I was just ripping through household items, trying anything and everything at some point: Vaseline, argan oil, etc.  We were at my aunt and uncle's in Chicago when my mom randomly stumbled across the rose salve in a bathroom drawer, and she was just like, "why not?" and I remember smearing it across Ana's head, loling at how silly she looked. For those who are unfamiliar, rose salve is kind of like chapstick. It's thickkkkk. And once you get the product on there, you kinda have to get aggressive about working it in and then picking out the flakes, once they're loose enough to grab. Truth be told, Ana still has a few CC pieces (even now) under all that hair, but we kind of stopped tackling the issue at some point. She'll grow out of it, based on everything I've read. It's mostly hormonal, and it doesn't bug the baby or anything. I'd never even heard of cradle cap until the flakes showed up one day, but as it turns out, a ton of babies get this in some form.

Diapers: Best of the best? Parasol Co.! SO SOFT YOU WILL DIE. A more affordable option? Up & Ups, which are just Target brand, but they definitely get the job done.

Overnight diapers (we started needing these once Ana would sleep for crazy long hauls, like 12+ hours): Full disclosure, I truly believe Honest Co. makes the best overnight diap on the market. When Ana was really springing leaks often, those blue ones with sheep really held up to even the longest and wettest of sleeps. And I don't even like their regular diapers! (Too stiff). However, maybe Anzie just isn't peeing as much anymore, or I'm too cheap, but we can usually get away with Target brand overnights, so we usually do.

Wipes: Water Wipes or the Babyganics kind. (Although, I believe most wipes were created equally). Whatever gets the booty wiped, you know? The only kind I haven't loved -- I don't know; they felt slimy or something -- were Kroger brand, which we only bought in a bind, just once.

Formula: (We obviously don't use this anymore, but we supplemented from pretty early on, and eventually switched over to full-time formula when Ana was ... 7-8 months, I believe). Anyway, I realize different babies have different needs, but Anz was an easy eater. We just bought those huge yellow cans from Costco, which were like, $14.99 apiece, and even just one would last for months. When I first started supplementing with formula, my lactation consultant at the time told me to just pick one, Enfamil or Similac. She said to start with the normal baby kind (typically in a yellow can; powdered) and go from there. Ana never needed the gentle tummy kind or (thank god) -- what are the really expensive kinds? -- Elecare? Nutramigen?  So TFG! But anyway, if you read the ingredient lists, Enfamil/Similac/Costco/Target/any of the yellow canned products ... are all basically the same. Go cheap if you can! Costco-Target were our jam.

*And then when it was time to switch to real milk, we just started giving her whatever we bought for ourselves. Now she's on a combo of mostly coconut milk + some dairy milk, but that's a story for another day. Don't sweat it. Also, I find soy to be disgusting, so that was never an option in my head.

Pacifiers: These are some of those products where I'm like, they're all probably created equally, right? (Like wipes?) How many variations could there really be, brand to brand? We were gifted a bunch of pacis and they all seemed to work out just fine. Ana was reluctant to take one in her first month, then she embraced, and then she randomly started spitting it out around the 8-month mark. I think the one time I purchased a set on my own, I picked the MAM brand (just because they were cute, probably).

Cute just like this face!

Bottles: Dr. Brown's all the way. These were recommended to me early on, seeing as we were first attempting to nurse + supplement with a bottle of pumped milk. The slow-flow nipple is pretty similar to a human boob, or so I heard. Also, there's something in the flow that's supposed to make the baby spit up less. We had the least spit-uppy baby of all time. Who knows if this was just good luck, but ... Dr. Brown's certainly couldn't have hurt.

Pump: The one that my insurance provided was fine, and I used it a ton. I'm blanking on the brand though! I also experimented with renting a Medela hospital-grade pump, through Kaiser, but I found absolutely no difference in what I yielded. What you really want, especially if you're going back to work, is the Freemie. I was gifted a used one, so I just had to buy new parts + tubing. You NEED to be able to go hands-free if you're gonna exclusively pump, or pump often. You just slip the cups into your bra and go about your business. Game changer.

Sippie cups: We tried a bunch, but have had the best luck with the brand Nuk (which are referred to as "Knuck if you Bucks" around this house).

PJs: If you're looking for quality material and ones that stand up to the test of time, Hanna Andersson. I swear, these grow with your baby. (Pricy though -- I think we only have like, two pairs, tops). Old Navy makes super cute and affordable PJs as well ... my only complaint is, the inconsistent sizing. I just bought Ana a new set of fall + winter pajamas, and you'll lol at this, but I bought 4Ts since she currently complains everything is too tight. "Tiiiiiight!" she'll wail. One pair of the 4T fits her perfectly already. Another pair -- same style and everything -- looks like she'll wear them on her first night away at college. They're ginormous. I might borrow them tonight, who knows.

Clothes: Cat and Jack (by Target), Old Navy, Ralph Lauren (only if you have an outlet; that shit is way too expensive to buy regularly priced), OshKosh, Zara, H&M.

Headbands/bows: Precious Girl Shop on Etsy, Cat and Jack, and if your baby will still allow headbands, those SUPER soft kind from Nordstrom -- I am super against those hard, stiff ones. Look for the brand Baby Bling (which, surprisingly enough, doesn't contain any bling).

Reader!

Books: We are often gifted books, or we've probably received 90% of our collection as hand-me-downs -- also, my mom's house still has 9 million -- but I will say, when buying books, never buy full-price from somewhere like Barnes and Noble. Go to Amazon. Type in a title. Under where you'll select hardcover or paperback, you'll see options that say like, "33 used from $3.24." Do that! If you're not a Prime member, I think you have to spend like, $25 for free shipping? But when books are $3 apiece, you can get a ton for $25. (Which is a whole lot better than the 1-2 books you could have bought from B&N). Or, just go to the library. But you'll want a LOT of books on hand! More than you're even imagining.

Sunscreen: I think we've used Babyganics in the past, but honestly, anything over SPF 40 I think is probably fine. We have like, five cans (I do like the spray stuff for a squirmy baby) hidden all over the house and I'm no longer that picky about brand.

Car seats: We went Britax on our infant setup; now we have a convertible Graco 4Ever. I've learned so much ever since I joined the group "Car Seats for the Littles" on Facebook. Basically, there is no "best" seat -- all seats have to pass the same safety standards. It's all about finding the seat that you can get the best install on -- and what will work best for your family and your car. Also, I bought our Graco as an open-box item on Amazon. Meaning, someone probably just didn't like the color and returned it. Great way to get a discount ... open-box is the way to go on a lot of this stuff, esp. bigger items and toys.

Toys: Melissa & Doug are def the gold standard. I don't know -- I do get asked about toys every now and then, but they vary so much by age range. If you're in Royal Oak, go to Toyology and ask one of the associates what would be perfect for a baby your kid's age. They've given me a lot of helpful tips and product recommendations. And when in doubt ... Melissa & Doug.

Hope that helped! Let me know if there's anything I left off the list.

22 months!

We only have a few more of these monthly updates left!

Touchdown, MSU!

Let's see where we left off ...

Ana is: Talking so well! Like, practically in mini-sentences.

"Mama singing!" she'll say if we're in the car. (Nevermind that my "singing" these days is usually like, Bodak Yellow. So, #babyappropriate is what I'm trying to say).

Or, "Ana sleep!" / "Ana bed!" she'll say if she's tired. Honestly, I've written this before, but her being able to tell us what she wants and needs -- it just makes this whole thing incredibly easy.

Also, I think I mentioned last time that her counting is like, on point. But you guys, she can basically get to 15 most days. And after that, she'll just start making up numbers. "Teen-teen!" as James says.

And this warm fall has meant the swimsuit remains in rotation! (Probably not for much longer).

Ana's sleep issues ...

Have mostly subsided. I told you I wouldn't quit! I've been tracking in the Notes section of my phone, and the past three weeks, she's gone down successfully five of the seven days. Most are without struggle, just like at bedtime, she'll turn over, shut her eyes and she's out in a few minutes. We don't hear a peep. Other days involve a little bit more of a meltdown (but tbh, she sleeps way longer and harder when she knocks herself out with a bit of a fit. Is that horrible for me to say?) and yeah ... other days she just has quiet time in her crib. Five for seven isn't bad. And I've experimented with like, "Should I wear her out more?" or "Should we run more errands?" (like in the mornings), but I feel like whether or not she's gonna nap is kind of a crapshoot at this point. What we do, doesn't so much matter. But MAN, the nap continues and we are grateful. Knock on wood always.

I had Friday off and we both went down for about three hours. It was glorious.

Also, she's been a better-than-normal sleeper in general at night. I mean, that feels unfair to say, because she's been bad ass sleeper almost since birth, but like, last night, she went down at 7:45p. Woke up at 10a, no interruptions. James and I were like, "Say whaaaaaat? THANK YOU!" Someone remind me why we're about to destroy this with Baby No. 2.  ;)

Prly because No. 1 is so cute?

We ran a little experiment ...

To see if we could switch her back to normal dairy milk. As I've mentioned in many a blog post, I don't think she has a dairy allergy; I just think normal milk is loaded with protein and it binds her up. Also, she likes it way too much. For real, she will skip all meals in favor of milk sippie cups, and she will just sip-sip ALL. Day. Long. And turn down real food. Annoying.

We've never cut dairy all the way out. Ana has always been allowed cheese and yogurt and stuff, and we've always wanted her to get her calcium in. We thought perhaps the milk obsession was just a phase. So we were all, let's reintroduce it.

I'd heard things, from people in my Facebook moms group (for those of us with constipated kids), and from at least two real-life friends, about how it can be beneficial to keep the babies on real milk, but instead of dumping in MiraLAX, to add in about a teaspoon or so of powdered probiotic. So I ordered one off Amazon made by the brand Garden of Life, just for kids.

For those of you who are unfamiliar (don't feel left out -- I was very unfamiliar at first), probiotics are kind of having a trendy moment right now in the health world. Well, it's all about "gut health." As in, "Everything starts in the gut!" Yeah, yeah ... now, I don't mean to be a naysayer. I'm sure -- like most everything -- there's some truth to the idea. So I won't say too much against it.

But I will say, we made the switch: meaning we put Anz back on regular milk, dumped the probiotics in (which are supposed to "heal" the gut and encourage healthy digestion), and we got straight F'd. Basically, and I shouldn't blame the pro-bios, but we learned Ana is just as obsessed with milk -- for real, she went through nearly a gallon in one day -- and she was constipated again in no time. BAD. Like, we had a horrible week. Constipation affects nearly everything. She won't nap as well, or she'll wake up crying, or it's harder to take her out in public because she'll stop whatever she's doing, seize up and just SCREAM, etc. I can't even tell you. Granted, we also know it's not as much of a physical thing, she's a withholder ... but still, having hard poops just makes the problem 50 times worse. When she finally went, it was heart-breaking. I was like, "F this, I'll spend a little extra to keep her on coconut milk so that she'll eat her vegetables and drink her prune juice and go regularly again." I guess we broke our own rule on that one. Nothing was broken. Why did we try and fix a system that was working for us?

#judging

Although I will admit ...

We kind of broke my golden rule on this one: If you're gonna give something a chance, give it time to actually work.

One bad car ride does not mean your baby hates the car. One week of denied green beans does not mean your baby hates green beans. I usually preach that you need to give things (well, depending what they are, of course), at least a month or so. Otherwise, it's not a fair chance. Babies are indecisive and they don't know what they want. YOU have to call the shots.

(For example: Ana hated her pacifier the first month, along with her Rock n Play. I was like, "Nah. ALL BABIES LOVE THOSE THINGS, I'll try again later and refuse to let her win." Guess who swore by her paci and R&P through the first 8-9 months?) BET.

Anyway, with this particular experiment, we did not give the probios a chance. Once Ana got that poop out (sorry, TMI, I swear I used to write about makeup), it just hurt my heart too much to let things go on the way they had been. James picked up about 60 cartons of coconut milk on his way home from work (<--- slight exaggeration but not by much), and we moved on.

Whatever.

The only mom rule that trumps all other mom rules is "trust your gut." (Haha SPEAKING of healthy guts). But for real, mom intuition is there for a reason, and something was telling me to stop with the probio nonsense. So I did and I'm not sorry. Honestly, what works for some kids doesn't work for others. My baby gal still can't have milk because she won't eat or drink anything else. The end.

Love you anyway!

What else ... We have a potty!

I mentioned last time that we bought it. I was kind of on the fence about introducing it, but my mom was like, "She's so smart. She likes telling us when she goes. Maybe just give it a shot."

I think I also mentioned that I was nervous because I (still) fear some regression once No. 2 arrives. But then I was like, screw it. No harm in going slow, and letting her warm up to it. So I took said potty down from the closet this weekend and basically, I'm making this plan up as I go.

Right now, we're in phase one, which is, "Ana, I gotta pee. Wanna come?" And she always says, "OK!" or "Sure!" And I sit and she sits. I tried to remove her diaper once or twice and she got kind of weird about it. But she loves sitting and pretending to go, as I go. (And luckily, I go on the half hour rn because of the baby head that's sitting directly on my bladder). Convenient.

Anyway, she makes a fake peeing noise and smiles at me and I tell her what a big girl she is, sitting on the potty. Then we flush and wash our hands and go about our day. Phase two might involve getting her to actually sit there and pee, but ... stay tuned.

Joke's on me, probably.

She is so funny.

If I say, "Ana, are you being crazy?" She'll go, "Ca-rayyyyyyzayyyy!" and wiggle her little body all over like a crazy person. Today, we were out getting my oil changed, and she was all, "EXCITED! EXCITED!" (Sounds more like, "CITED!") But oh, she certainly was excited. And she was the only one. No one wanted to be in that waiting room/customer service area except for AG.

James will also call her the oldest little lady who ever lived, because at the end of the day, she likes to complain about her arthritis: "KNEEEEEES."

"TOESSSSSS."

And just recently, she started doing, "EYESSSSSS." She says the names of these body parts very dramatically, and grabs them as if she's just come out of arthroscopic surgery.

James will be like, "What (almost) 2-year-old complains about her knees like this? You are unreal."

Unreal I tell you.

I continue to learn ...

More and more from her every day. I'm trying to be a better listener. Granted, I think we've always done a pretty decent job of letting her learn the cadence of a conversation and such (you know, like the back and forth? Which requires listening?) but like, I want to really listen and hear her. The Harvey Karp toddler book says no one really listens to toddlers well, hence, some of their frustration. Also, if she's saying a word and you really can't understand it, I swear, if you repeat it back several times *while* scanning the room, you will probably nail it within 30 seconds. She certainly doesn't say things on accident or by chance. The other day, she was all, "BOG FAH-PACE" and I had no idea at first. But I kept saying it back, and I had her show me, and I surveyed the living room, and it wasn't gibberish after all. There was a BUG on the FIREPLACE.

Smarty pants, typing on the keyboard like a little mommy.

Swim lessons ...

Are over already!  :(  It was just a six-week session. I'm really proud of her though. Week one, as you might recall, was kind of disastrous. She wouldn't stay with the group, she wanted to do things HER way and her way only, she constantly yelled for "DOWN DOWN DOWN OUT OUT OUT!" and we were kind of the black sheep(s?) of the class. Week two was a little better ... as in, we stayed the whole time, but played on the stairs, just the three of us. And then weeks three, four, five and six? It was a whole new Ana. She definitely still got antsy when we did too much "baby" stuff (can't blame her there), but she was jumping off the side of the pool into our arms, blowing bubbles, reaching with her arms for the balls, floating (with our help, of course), etc.  This is one of those examples where I totally wanted to quit after week one. But I was like, "I'm not letting her determine her fate with swim lessons, we're going again!" And again. And again. And guess who loves swim class now?! (Just in time for it to end).

*Oh, and I think my resilience was largely due to the fact that registration was kind of spendy. Full disclosure on that one. We cheap, what can I say? We also found a bomb place for breakfast after class. James and I were in it for the stuffed french toast.

Brunchin with mom and dad

The Ganleys ...

Are driving in for a visit in two weeks. They've never seen our house. We probably won't plan much -- maybe the farmers market or a trip to the cider mill. It'll be nice for Ana to see her grandparents!

And then our little Ganley clan(ley) will probably drive up to Petoskey the following weekend to see Robby, speaking of (relatively) new houses.

We're doing a low-key for Thanksgiving (I'm actually working -- trying to bank comp time before baby)! And I'll be 30 weeks as of this coming Thursday. And I'm finally feeling ginorm! Here's my rambly pregzie post if you missed it or care about these kinds of things. Also, Ana continues to think she's pregnant too. She'll touch my belly and say BABY! And then lift up her own shirt and say BABY! ... Not quite, my grasshopper. Not quite.

See you in a month, if not sooner! I have some saved posts I just might share before then : )