13 months!

UGH, it's been hard to keep up on the blog lately! We WERE buying a house, then we weren't, and suddenly it was back on the table, and then we closed LAST FRIDAY.

I didn't feel like it was real until the keys were in our hands!

But it's finally becoming real. We've even unpacked a TON in the past week or so. It was a real whirlwind: Having to get out of the apartment and into the house on the same day. Really glad that's over! Shoutout to our friends for making it happen, seriously.

Anyway. Ana turned 13 months ... a few Sundays ago! Usually I have a bit of a mental countdown clock ticking down in my brain. Not this time! That Sunday, I was like, "what's today's date?" And James said, "maybe the 8th?" I checked my phone. It was the 8th. It was also 7 p.m. "Ana's 13-month birthday!" I said. Haha, I think the months are going to start turning into the weeks. You know what I mean? At first, I was SO aware every Tuesday. "Ana is 4 weeks old! Ana is 9 weeks old!" ... My mom even laughed at me later in the year when I'd get all, "we need to get Ana's 44-week photo!" Well, pretty soon she'll be in college and I'll have no idea what month we're on.

Hi I'm cute.

So, another thing I'll reveal: Usually throughout the month, I make little notes in my iPhone to use when it's time to assemble the monthly blog update. And then I'll write the entry over the course of maybe three days. I'm usually distracted and multi-tasking, so I'll do the copy portion one day, and add photos later. I'll read through it a few times to make sure I'm typo-free and it has decent flow. Etc.

OK, well, I was writing Ana's one-year update from like, mid-November through a few days ago. At some point I was like, "need to use some of this crap for Ana's 13-month!" And now you know way too many boring details about my process. ANYWAY. I'll jump in where I left off.

You already know Ana's walking.

And that continues to be an adventure! She loves to roam around with an item in hand (it's funny when she picks something heavy -- like, why are you making life so hard on yourself? Put the Bumbo down). And she especially loved (at the apartment) to venture to the kitchen, and go under the sink where we kept shopping bags and empty beer cans (gross). She has more toys than any baby could need. A toy kitchen that remains king, a shopping cart, plastic food, a walker, a bin of odds and ends in the living room, a castle, 50,000 stuffed animals, the list truly goes ON and on. But she just wants those beer cans, yo.

This is WAY better than my castle.

(Or the DVDs. Lately she lovvvvves tearing all our DVDs off the shelf and examining them very seriously. She's been pretty hung up on Dumb & Dumber the past month or so. James brought this up recently and cracked, "it's how I know she's mine." lololol).

So yeah, we moved in to our first HOUSE.

We still have to ... finish unpacking. Organize a bunch. Figure out if we want to do curtains or blinds or both ALL over the house (yeah, there isn't a single window treatment at the mome; we draped Ana's windows with my maxi dresses so the sun doesn't wake her up early).

Haha what else ... drill some spots for toilet paper rolls. Drill some spots for towel racks, and pick out what those should look like. Move current furniture into the front room, then add a cozy sectional to the family room. Reexamine our babyproofing efforts. Buy a gate for the kitchen and possibly the stairs. Mount our TVs. Return our appliances. Figure out the bed situation. Finish the washer-dryer sitch. The list honestly goes ON and on; those are just the first batch of issues we'll probably need to tackle.

Back to Ana bear; house stuff is boring.

Hi I'm in my new room.

You guyssssss, she is the sweetest, cutest thing of all time. She is growing up way too fast. I know I say that every time, but are you ready for all the changes she's made? As of just the past few weeks/month, she's transitioned to cow's milk (no more formula or breastmilk, although my b-milk stash has been out for quite some time anyway). Then we moved her off the bottle entirely, so she's on sippie cups 24/7. (She had some in her rotation previously, but had crutched on bottles quite a bit when waking up or falling asleep).

And maybe it was the act of weaning her off bottles but ... now she no longer gets up in the night. (!!!)  And that one makes me SO happy, because she'd been sleeping through the night for awhile. And then she started needing occasional bottles all of a sudden. The docs say past a certain point, they shouldn't NEED those calories, so maybe it's a comfort thing. We went through phases of trying to let her self-soothe, but I swear, she had nights where she would not go back down without a bottle. When I asked her pediatrician about it at our one-year checkup, she said Ana is probably accustomed to having one of her meals overnight, hence why she sometimes doesn't eat well during the day. She was used to it. I felt like I did a bad thing. #momguilt

But like, I really struggled with the idea of getting her off the fourth-meal schedule. If she's genuinely hungry, how do I teach her to NOT be? I can't just not feed her if she needs it (in that moment). So basically, we took it one thing at a time. We got her on cow's milk. We switched her off bottles. And then I had this elaborate plan I had found by Googling -- slowly I was going to offer less and less overnight, and eventually swap the bottle with water if I had to. But guess what: she just stopped needing it. Like, right around the time we were hoping for! I don't know if it was like, milk filled her up less than formula? So she ate more real food? But in our big time of transition, the problem just worked itself out. I was elated.

Anyway, she's sleeping a gajillion hours now (had to get some overnight diaps!), drinking like a big girl, walking like a big girl, learning more and more every day ... the bath remains a favorite spot!

Bath time is the freaking cutest.

She's pissed at first, when you make her sit down, but then she gets used to it and forgets. She lovvvvves to splash. Loves her squeaky bath-animal toys. Still doesn't love getting her hair washed, but adores the cup I use to rinse her hair out. All she wants to do is fill it up and drink the water. Which is so hard because I want to be proud of her! For drinking from a cup, that is. I mean, it's a little messy, but she gets it! The concept is there. But like, I have to go "acka acka acka!" (sounds like YUCKA; it's our noise that means "gross") because there's pee and soap and grime in that water.

She thinks it's SO funny. She laughs and laughs and loves watching my reaction when she drinks the bath water. Silly (gross) bear.

Then we get out of the bath, and lately, I've been slathering her in coconut oil (the cure for everything. First it was the cradle cap, now it's curing her dry skin!), and she's actually getting used to it. The other day, I laid her down on my bed, and gave her a little baby-massage as I slathered her up, post-bath. She looked at me the whole time, very calm, and just kept saying, "mama. Mama. Mama."

I just try to make the process seem either slippery and silly, or calming. Depending on the mood. But yeah, lotion was just NOT cutting it. Ana would wake up painfully dry the next morning. Safe to say, I'm in love with da coco.

PS she also says "nigh nigh!" <--- And this is why working from home is the best. The fun stuff I get to do during my dinner break!

Anyway, yeah. Back to the bath ritual: If you hand her a brush after the bath, she wants to be the one to brush her hair. She's not great at it, but she gets the idea! She uses the right motion. And her hair is longggg all of a sudden!

It's the same with pieces of clothing. If she sees socks, she'll put them near her feet, but can't quite get them on yet. If she spots a headband, she'll hold it up to her head. Etc. Smart girl!

Ever since she was born basically, we had this family tradition (family just meaning the three of us) where she'd wake up in the morning and we'd bring her into bed with us. When she was teensy, she'd sleep with us at least half the night. It was just easier to nurse her or eventually offer a bottle in there, and then she'd fall right back asleep. Then she got a little bigger and she'd play for a bit in bed with us. And even as of last month, I'd go grab her and set her on James. Well, I'm sad to report we've done less and less of that morning ritual. I don't know; I just felt like she needed to start getting up and seizing the day. Getting some real breakfast in her body now that she's not filling up on bottles, getting her play on, etc.

She's still napping once a day. Some days, if she's been playing hard, she'll go down just 2-3 hours after she wakes up. So, up at 9a or so, back down from noon to 2ish.

Other days, we can run errands with her till 1 or 2, then she'll conk out when we get home. She's definitely accustomed to giving us at LEAST an hour nap; but she'll go as long as 3-ish hours if she's extra tired or we're lucky! Bedtime is around 8:30p.

Goon.

She still loves cellphones probably a little too much.

Ughhhhh. This is probably getting worse, tbh. I try not to take mine out around her anymore; I swear I'm going to wean her. She'll forget they ever existed. Seriously, I don't want her to be this kid. It's just HARD. I can't even take a Snap or a pic without her reaching for the phone half the time! Sometimes you can distract her, sometimes you can't. But she IS turning into a toddler in the way where like, if she doesn't get what she wants, YOU WILL PAY.

Still, screentime weirds me out and that blue light is burning out all of our eyeballs. (Yes, even yours. Even mine).

UGH.

Why does she just like, know to love the stuff that's bad for her, or off limits? Cellphones. Keys (most contain lead). Remotes. Phone chargers. Glasses. Everything under the kitchen sink. James' insulin (haha, we call it "diabetes corner." As in, "she's headed straight to diabetes corner if you could get some eyes on the bear!") Obviously his stuff is zipped up and tucked away -- it's not like she could shoot herself with insulin or test her blood sugar. But we will have to revisit the babyproofing of medical stuff like that, pretty soon.

And I will say: it's pretty funny when she asks Siri questions. The other day, Siri responded back something like, "it appears you've been drinking." Ahaha, Ana just barks babble/nonsense.

Have I mentioned she's up to five teeth?

TEEF.

So much babble. So much singing. Sometimes I sing to her and she'll sing back. If that isn't the most precious thing I've ever experienced, I don't know WHAT is. She's kind of a nuzzler lately, which hadn't been her life in quite some time. I haven't even minded a few 5a wakeups (just a handful, and they've been random), because it's like, "I just want to rock you and feel your sweet breath!" She has this teeny, tiny snore, and it's so cute.

She is so crazy.

Ana will just tear up and down the upstairs hallway at the new house, making this crazed noise from her chest. She is so, so proud of herself for walking better and better each day, and so happy to be alive. I posted a video on Instagram the other day!

This is her fourth home in 13 months. I hope we stay here awhile! I would love for her to remember this one.

And finally: I'd like to think I don't give too much advice on here. As I've said, we're just kinda doing our thing. A lot of this trial-and-error stuff has really worked! I don't claim to have any secrets.

Wearing one of my old dresses!

But I will say, I get messaged some questions from time to time! And if I could do it all over again (have my first kid), I wouldn't hate me for sharing a few notes. Here's what I've chosen to share this month.

1.) Google first, call your doctor second. <--- WITHIN REASON
I'm talking about when you need to address issues like sleeping, eating, small behavioral stuff, etc. Obviously, trust your instinct, and if your baby has anything going on that seems alarming, Google probably won't cut it as your first line of defense. In those cases, run don't walk! Call your doc. But I will say, Ana has had moments where I'm like, "oh yep, gonna ask the doctor about that FOR SURE when we see her next; need to make a note in my iPhone, etc." And then I wonder why we only see the doc once every few months. And then usually that same night, just because I'm a psycho and I look up EVERYTHING, I see that 90 million babies have experienced that same phenomenon, and I stop sweating it. Or I closely monitor the sitch for a few days and it self-solves in no time. Basically, don't build shit up in your head, or think two 5a wakeups mean she's getting up at 5 from here on out. Your doctor is busy with actual problems, I imagine. You're the parent because it's your job to take the reins and say "hell no," to 5a wakeups. You rock her back to sleep and teach her 9a is gonna REMAIN wakeup time. Because that's when you and Daddy like to sleep in until, too. (Deadbeats).

2.) And then when you're trying something new, be patient.
I'll admit, I needed to take my own advice on this one. James was the real MVP on this note just recently. For example, the transition off bottles. I wanted to break down so many times and just give her one. But he stayed strong, we didn't crack, and she was off them within 48 hours. You can't be scared of her. YOU are the boss. She will adapt. Also, do you know how many times people have suggested sleep training, or giving her soy, or some other shit that I didn't want to do, just because she had like, one fussy day with milk or constipation or rejecting a nap? Also, soy is gross. I would have considered switching her life around if I ever thought it was worth it.
But I do think overall, we've been pretty good at isolating the problem for her, testing stuff, making sure we're using controlled experiments, etc.  You have to give things a real chance to work or not work. Sometimes that takes longer than you'd like. But that's life with a baby. Give it time.

3.) Don't throw all your tricks and toys at the baby at once.
Oh, she's happy playing on the floor by herself? But you haven't gone over there in 10 minutes and you need to feel more involved? WAIT till she seems bored, then go. (Plus, solo-play is good). Or, she's happy in the carseat with the play remote but you also have some toast on standby in case she's hungry? WAIT till she throws the remote at the backseat window, then feed her the toast. Your dad wants to take her on a walk through the restaurant but she's playing happily in her high chair, "drawing" on the kids menu? WAIT till the food arrives and she gets spooked by a loud sound or she's decided this high chair is bullshit. Then let your dad have at it. Tour the entire place once she needs a distraction!
We've always kind of done, or strived to do, versions of this, but timing things selectively has gotten more and more relevant lately as Anz has grown. Also, all of those scenarios have happened recently, so this is a reminder to myself. :)

4.) Here's my controversial one: We did not create our own vax schedule. Because we're not doctors. And why in the world would we do something like that?
Honestly, I pick EVERYTHING for that little bear. I choose her outfits every morning, I determine what she eats, the ebb and flow of her day, I choose who she'll be around and basically how she'll grow up. But I'm not a doctor, and neither is James. In fact, we have nothing to do with the medical profession. I've had some people ask if vaccines make us nervous, or if we'd consider spreading them out. I mean, it's not exactly fun to watch Anz get poked by all those needles. But in general, would we consider tweaking the schedule or opting out? Um, hell no.
The schedule is there for a reason. It was determined by the experts. I trust them. Do you want to know why they give babies 9 million shots before the age of 2 when they used to give them like, 10? You can actually Google and find out. (Which I did once, but I'm not smart enough to re-explain).
But I trust the science.
You know what sucks? Polio. You know what's cool? That I don't have to worry about my daughter getting measles.
Why would I f with that?
Sorry, but in my opinion, a modified/alternative schedule is crazy. Do what you want (I guess), but if we ever have a #2, get your unvaccinated kid awayyyyy from my baby.
End rant.

Robby was like, "make it look like I'm teaching her!" But this girl loves to hold a writing utensil lately.

On a completely different topic, you wanna hear something sweet?

I couldn't go to the Women's March this weekend because I had plans with a big group that had been in the works for a LONG, long time. And I was kind of bummed in hindsight -- to see all those women in ALL those cities, showing up strong, proving a point, holding signs and displaying such beautiful solidarity.

I came home and mentioned it to James, and he totally understood. He even said he considered taking Ana (he was home alone with her all weekend while I was out of town), but he wasn't sure if Midland was closer, or Lansing, and with only one parent + Ana, sometimes things can get crazy lately because we're entering toddler tendencies. ... I thought that was so cool though. I was like, "You'd consider taking Ana?" And he said of course. He was basically like, "I mean, if she were a little older, 100 percent I'd take her. But seeing as she wouldn't really know what was going on, and the fact that we were stretched this weekend, I didn't think it'd work out." I was so touched by that. James is so supportive, and the best dad. I love that he'd attend a local Women's March with our baby girl, even in theory.

Seeing guys and children in photos at the marches was really cool.

Anyway, until next time ... !

Christmas #1 vs. Christmas #2. Such a difference!

Life with a year-old baby boo.

Over the years, I've seen first birthday parties like, on TV and in the movies. It always looked so precious, bringing the cake out for the very first time, the baby's chubby cheeks in the glow of birthday cake lighting, everyone singing happy birthday to a little one who has no idea what's going on, the parents opening the gifts while the baby paws at the wrapping paper ... I just couldn't believe that was us!

I'm still the one with the newborn, right? Providing her age to strangers, in weeks? No?

It made me a little teary actually, like, she's only going to turn 1 once. And this is it. How can it be here already?

I felt weirdly powerless. Like, it's time. Whether I like it or not, time keeps moving and Ana's growing up. Right before our eyes.

It's like that line from the Six Feet Under finale (omg, best show ever/best series finale ever/best writing ever). But Nate says to Claire, "You can't take a picture of this. It's already gone."

Like, and I OBVIOUSLY can take 4,500 pictures. (And I do). And it helps with those fleeting feelings. Honestly, when I can't sleep, I just like, sit in bed and watch old videos from my phone, and I say things like, "I remember that!"  To which James responds, "Well I would hope so. That was like, six months ago." He even LOLs at the idea of "old" photos and videos. She's 1, not 91.

But the point is, no matter how many pictures I take, some things you just can't bottle. And I wish I could.

The little girl loves her stuffed animals.

I would bottle up entire days if I could, just so I could relive them when I'm 45. I'd save memories; even the most boring of days around the house. Feelings. The curve of her cheek in my hand. The sound of her squeaky, vibrate-y giggle. Or like, days when my heart might explode when James wraps his arms around the two of us and I just feel overwhelmed with love for our tiny family, and want Ana to stay small forever.

So yeah. Her birthday left me in a puddle of emotion, in case that wasn't abundantly clear. I cried a few happy tears sitting on the couch with James after everyone had gone to bed (well, Ana and Carolyn). James' mom stayed with us that birthday-party weekend.

It's just so surreal. I still feel like the one with a tiny baby, but I'm not. We've had the most transformational year, and I loved so, so much of it. OK, I won't say I loved EVERY second. There were definite challenges and moments of stress. And nights where I just longed and ached for a few more hours of sleep ... but I really wouldn't trade any of it. Cliche but true.

And now I have a 1-year-old.

I think I'll always take this memory with me: As James and I were sitting on the couch, dissecting Analisa's first year on that birthday-party Saturday, she woke up.

We gave her a few minutes to self-soothe (which she usually does just fine, and goes right back to sleep), but she was really fussing that night. So I got off the couch, lifted that teeny body from her crib and just rocked her. I held her to my chest and just CHERISHED her. You know, it's one of those things you're never supposed to do, get the baby out of her crib. But f it, you know? I sang her Landslide by Fleetwood Mac in a super hushed voice (a tradition of ours), and then James came up behind me and just held us close. I got so choked up, like, these moments are so fleeting and I'll miss them terribly. I already know that! It's truly not the nauseating childbirth or the wake-ups every three hours for the first month, or the fits in the checkout line that you remember. It's this. She's my baby. My first baby. My only baby.

I am not eloquent today.

So, the year update. Let's hop to it!

Ana's actual birthday/her birthday party

Ana turned 1 on Dec. 8, which was a Thursday. James and I both took the day off work, because we figured, why not? As much as I love Emily, who watches Ana while I work during the week, I thought it would break my heart if Emily got to spend the very first birthday with our Little Bear. So James and I made an elaborate, lofty plan to take Anz to the zoo. "Early!" we said. "Rain or shine!" we said. "No matter how cold it is! We don't care!" we said.

... And then we woke up and it was cold. The weather had called our bluff. And we were tired (all three of us, really). When Ana went down for her nap that day, James and I did, too. By the time we were all dressed and ready for the day, it was late afternoon. So we ran a few errands, headed down to Royal Oak and met my parents for dinner. We (I) had picked Bigalora previously, because I figured it was across the street-ish from the zoo. I then decided even though the zoo had been a bust, Bigalora was still delicious. So my parents met us there for a tiny celebration. We had fried brussels, pizza, chopped salad and drinks. Then we stopped at Astoria on the way back to my parents', and grabbed some carry-out desserts. Yum, yum and yum.

Reading a card from Uncle Robby.

We didn't do much with Leese and Bob ... Ana played in an Amazon box (her favorite gift of all), my parents and brother got her a few things (although the grandparents' main gift to her involved paying me back for her Minnie kitchen I found on one of my buy-trade-sell moms resale groups); and then suddenly Ana was so tired. So we dropped her in the Pack 'n Play upstairs and waited till she was asleep, then James and I headed to Ye Olde Saloon for a celebratory beverage. We kept our baby alive all year! Cheers. (Also, to my RO peeps, I have NO idea why we picked Ye Olde. I just wanted somewhere close by, no-frills, laid back, cheap, with good lighting and no band). Anddddd this is how I know I'm 30. Also, I'd never been.

ANYWAYYYYY.

We weren't out for long. Then we came back to my parents', grabbed LB in her sleep, moved her to the car seat and came back home. We like to call this Von Trapping -- when we flee in the night without telling Anz ;)  A quick hour up I-75 in our SUV with heated seats is exactly the same as the Sound of Music family bouncing over the mountains to escape the Nazis, right?

So, that was Ana's birthday. James and I both worked the next day (bummer, but that's the news business, I suppose), and thennnnn we had her party on Saturday.

Saturday morning was such a cluster.

We woke up at like, 5:30 (and don't ask what time we went to bed). We mayyyyybe got 45 minutes of sleep. Proceeded to pick up James' mom from the airport. Unpacked the car, and left Ana and Carolyn at my parents'. Ran to Costco just the two of us to grab the cake, a bunch of frozen quiche, fruit, pastries and mimosa ingredients. And my mom saved us by grabbing a few balloons and a few boxes of Biggby coffee.

I swear, I was doing my makeup 5 minutes before people were supposed to arrive. Luckily, it was a relaxed morning. No one was really on time, anyway. We had plenty of time for the quiche to finish up in the oven and to set everything out and make it pretty. My parents' house was warm and cozy and I was glad we were able to use it!

Me and my girl.

For a little context, I threw my parents a deck party/joint 60th birthday thing/anniversary soiree in October ... and man did we spend a LOT of time prepping food, and timing everything and investing in ingredients. I think I would have gone a little more Type-A crazy if it weren't for that deck party. This time around, I was just like, "still exhausted from October, we're going to Costco and throwing together the simplest brunch of all time!" But no regrets. Everything was delicious. It cost next to nothing. And we were able to drive home afterward for a long weekend with James' mom, so there wasn't any back and forth between our place and Royal Oak. And that's what stopped me from doing an evening-type thing in the first place; I wanted to be able to pick Carolyn up from the airport and be settled back in Fenton within a half-day.

But as for the party, like I said, it was truly lovely. We didn't really take into consideration that Ana goes down for a late-morning nap (and she's consistent af on this), so we did have a SLEEPY bear on our hands at one point. All her pictures started to look like this:

She had no interest in cake (too tired). And then she just got crabbers. So we took her upstairs for a nap and enjoyed the rest of the party without her.  ;)

We wrapped up and it was still fairly early, so we stopped at Great Lakes Crossing on our way back (but didn't buy anything), then just kinda laid low the rest of the evening. The weather was snowy, to say the least.

Let's hop back to little bear ... Ana's talking!

"Mama" and "dada" have been a thing for awhile. Lately, we keep thinking she added "bye!" to her repertoire.

She does this thing where she wants to launch herself off our bed (which is pretty high up). Probably a few months ago, we started grabbing her leg, so that she couldn't move. We'd sometimes go, "bye Ana! Good luck down there! See ya later!" and watch her struggle to try and break free from our grip.

Anyway, we were all in bed maybe two weeks ago, and she was dying to jump or lower herself off our bed, and I swear, she turned to us and said (very clearly), "BYE!"  James and I looked at each other like, "whoa!"

Haha, otherwise, cute baby babble continues in full force. Sometimes she sounds Japanese. Sometimes it's like a British man. Who knows; Dr. Jenn says they're sometimes saying words -- it's just that we're not listening well, and she struggles to pronounce things correctly. But she's really trying! We do a lot of back and forth, and I let her know I'm listening. I've heard, at times, what sounds like it could be "hello," "oh no," "no," "yeah" and "what."

And of course "OH!" remains KING. I swear it makes us laugh every day. Even though she's been saying it since early October (clear as day), it will never NOT be funny. She changes the tone of it based on what you're saying. If you tell her something interesting, "Ana, mama didn't walk till she was 16 months. I was a little slow because I was born early!" she'll say, "ohhhhhhh." Like she understands! Or if you tell her something curious, she'll do more of a yelpy, "oh?!"

We were at our home inspection and the guy was just cracking up. "Your furnace is good for now, but keep an eye on it over the next 10 years."  "OH?"  "You're going to want to call a plumber to revisit the issue in the second bathroom, too."  "Ohhhhhhh." She was just responding to everything!

A few new tricks

You can now ask her, "where's your ear?" or "where's your belly button?" or "where's your head?" and she'll show you. (She's already known nose and a few others for awhile).

You can also say, "will you show me open/shut them?" And she'll open and close her hands. She'll stick out her tongue, even if you don't show her first what that means, and you can ask her about characters in her favorite books and she'll sometimes get the answer right, like, "which one is Pout-Pout? Can you show me?" She points. She continues to LOVE books. I swear, if she's not trying to poke through the garbage or get into the cupboards underneath the kitchen sink, she just wants to flip through her books and point at things. Or go through the pages, "read" out loud and point. It is SO SO cute.

What a nugget you are.

She can follow instructions and loves to "stand up! Sit down!" The other day, she shot up, and yelled, "up!"  Although she prefers to stand 10 out of 10 times.

We've been making teeth-brushing a fun game -- even though the flyer from our pediatrician said you can wait till they have 10-ish teeth, I thought, it's never too early to start. I don't use toothpaste, I just say, "let's brush your teeth!" and I wet down the brush. I show her how I do mine, and then we do hers.

She thinks it's pretty funny. She has the best laugh right now. Sometimes it's real, and sometimes she'll pretend to laugh at something, which is honestly hilar. James will laugh at me and she'll join in, or pretend a book is funny, or just SQUEAL in delight, and it's just like, have you ever seen a happier baby in your whole life?

She's obviously been watching me closely during getting-ready time, or in the bathroom. Did you see the video on my Instagram where my mom handed her a makeup wipe, and she blotted her lips? And then she's been begging for my pink beauty blender (it's just this little pink sponge I use to blend my foundation and concealer) -- at first, I didn't want to let her have it. I thought she'd put it in her mouth, and it's due for a wash.

But she was REALLY going for it the other day. I couldn't distract her out of it, and she's at the age where when she wants something, she's gonna let you know. Basically until she gets it! So I groaned and handed over the silly little blender. And you guys ... she "blended" her face! She dabbed it all over just like I do, and it made me tear up a little! She's just SUCH a little person and she's absorbing everything! It's crazy.

She's also walking!

I swear, it was overnight.

For awhile she'd been comfortable standing and cruising. And we'd encourage her to "come to mama!" or "walk to dad!" and outstretch our arms like you see on the commercials, and she just ... wouldn't. She'd hit the deck, actually, and crawl over to us as fast as she could. She's SUCH a fast crawler. She tears around the house at lightning speed; James and I were always like, "what's gonna motivate her to walk when she's THIS good of a crawler?"

Then she strung together a few wobbly teeny, tiny steps. And she wouldn't do 'em when prompted. But I swear, when no one was looking, she'd go. Emily would tell me she had a couple steps before bed. James would swear they happened on his mornings (we alternate who gets to sleep in; I realize this sounds like a custody agreement). But I'd only seen like, three steps, tops. And they were honestly so small and pathetic, I didn't even know that I'd count them as real steps.

And then we saw this baby around Ana's age in front of us at church on Christmas Eve, and by the end of the mass, both babies were in the hallway, post-meltdowns. The little boy was taking these CRAZY big, ambitious lunges. Arms out, shoes on, and I was like, "doubt Ana's gonna be there any time soon."

But then the next day, or maybe two days later, she was proving me wrong!

Bear in the new house.

She's still not a lunger. Her steps are small and calculated. She doesn't fall much, but when she does, it's straight on her butt, which doesn't upset her. She doesn't put her arms out for balance, but does like to hold something in her hands (does she think she's holding onto an actual item to steady herself? We'll never know).

I think I'd list Dec. 27 as the first day that she was walking walking. So, just about three weeks past her first birthday. This was one of the few benchmarks she didn't hit early, but I'd say around the one-year mark is still about average. I read somewhere that it's not a bad thing if your baby doesn't walk early ... it just means she's content. She's not trying to push the envelope; she's secure in her current state and doesn't want to get hurt, or go too fast and feel rushed. I mean, you can obviously find almost anything online to back up what you want to hear or read -- so maybe that just made me feel better? I never felt scared that she wouldn't do it. She was just so close for so long. So when she finally started chugging along more regularly, I was just happy for her! We now have an official walker.

And for reference, when she's really excited, she'll still crawl. Whatever!

I have so many more updates, but based on how long this thing is already and how long it's taken me, I'm going to continue in the 13-month entry! See you there.