Baby talk! Week 35 edition

It's week 35!

(How? Someone please tell me).

(I'm cheating -- this pic was actually taken in the grocery store Tuesday, at week 34, when the baby was as big as this squash. I could tell the shopper next to us was confused by our impromptu photo shoot).

Ohmygosh, you guys. I have a blogging "to-write-about" list the size of Texas. My actual to-do list -- like, stuff that NEEDS to get accomplished before BG arrives -- is even longer. I'm working a million hours a day and may never find the time. For any of it. Eeeeeeek.

I'm just so TIRED. And overworked. And my time-management skills are ... off. All I want to do is jam as much work in as possible, and then when I'm not as VSP, sleep! Or watch crap TV. (Not run errands, set things up or spend more time in front of a computer screen. Sorry).

Related/unrelated: The most popular question I get these days is, "when's your last day [of work]?" ... Hmm. Do most people set one of those? Maybe if I were still at KCRA, or I had been at VSP longer, I'd pick one. But seeing as I'm still a relatively new employee, and I won't have unlimited time off, I just feel like I should work up until the very last possible second. Right? And take all my time on the back end, once the baby actually exists in the real world? That's the plan.

So like, count me in. Up until the very end!

Impulse purchase! It was $4.

I hope my water breaks at work (hopefully when I'm presenting in a big meeting) -- and I'm not driving to the hospital until like, a leg is hanging out.*

*I know, I know. I've mentioned this to several people who've corrected me: legs don't come out first, heads do! You get my point either way. And if I'm truly THAT uncomfortable with a week or so to go, maybe I'll throw in the towel. But until then ...

Let's go through a rundown of where things stand at the 35-week mark!

--It's getting more and more uncomfortable to change my shorts/pants. One leg is fine, but the other requires a bit of a balancing act. I haven't required help from Jimmy yet, but we might be nearing that point.

--I definitely false-start while getting out of bed. It's hard, I have like, NO abs, and our bed is really high off the ground with nothing in the area to grab for leverage (but I love our bed -- no complaints). It's just that, getting up to pee all night is tough work. And it's not so much that I actually have to pee ... it's just like, PRESSURE on my bladder. Sometimes you get in there, expecting this huge relief, and it's just like, a tiny trickle for 5 seconds (TMI? Haha sorry).

--I rolled out of my Snoogle the other night for a quick pee, but I couldn't quite free my legs from the pillow itself or my nest of blankets in time. I swear, I saw my life flash before my eyes. Not the best way to wake up! I kind of caught myself before smashing my head open, but the noise of the fall itself startled James awake. The next morning, I was like, "I FELL OUT OF MY SNOOGLE LAST NIGHT!" and he was a good mix of alarmed/laughing. I mean, had I been hurt, it might not have been so funny. But I wasn't! I even kind of laugh to myself (still), picturing my huge body catapulting toward the ground.

--I'm probably up ... 20-25 pounds at this point? Which isn't huge, but it's still the biggest I've ever been. I feel like I'm wearing a fat suit. But no complaints, I realize I'm with child and I'm not beating myself up about it! Au contraire, I'm eating apple crisp and enjoying myself! Strangers tell me I look great and want to hold the door for me and give up their seats. So thanks everyone!

Sometimes I don't look that big.

But then other times I do! (Same day, same 5 minutes, really).

--So yeah, speaking of that ... I finally outgrew most of my wardrobe. I can still make a few pre-baby dresses work, but for the longest time, I could still get into most of my clothes (they just looked tighter). Now ... not so much. I was ransacking my closet for a black dress Friday morning (I was a witch -- VSP gets down on Halloween), and I failed to get about five of them zipped. Frustration! James likes to remind me I'm in my final stages of pregnancy and this type of thing is normal. Still, sometimes I forget! Kind of like when I go online shopping and load up my cart with a million small-mediums and size 6s. Hmm. Might want to hold off on those purchases!

--In my sleep, I just want to stretch my legs and point my toes. Then I wake up with the worst leg cramps of all time, cursing my asleep-brain for letting my body do that. Need more coco water and bananas, apparently (I hear potassium is the leg-cramp cure). Can't confirm though. I used to get those awful cramps all the time after running sprints in HS. Have you ever had one? Your leg just like, locks and spazzes out, and it's hard to get it to relax. The first time it ever happened, I thought I was having some weird form of seizure. Anyway.

--Everyone mentioned I should still go to prenatal yoga, after my last blog. I would love to! However, I should mention: My area has the worst options. The one class that I thought sounded pretty good? Only meets on Tuesdays and Thursdays at 4p. Some of us have to work! Bum deal. All other yoga I've tried or frequented has been at least lightly heated (which is a no-go for the babes).

--Dairy sounds so good lately. Milkshakes and plain milk and chocolate milk and yogurt. I wash down my prenatal vity with a big glass of plain milk every night -- although: warning. Just because Jessica Alba is super pretty and affiliated with The Honest Company DOES NOT mean her vities are any good. In fact ... they're some of the grossest ones I've tried. They taste like dirty hay. Bleck bleck bleck.

--Hot showers also feel really great! I think I've mentioned, I usually avoid showers (well, the long ones anyway; I do a daily rinse) -- but for me, it all comes down to hair-washing avoidance. My hurr just looks better a bit dirty. It's so much thicker and nicer to work with. Anyway! Lately it just feels so good to suds up and get clean. It's so warm and steamy in there. Love it. Then, I come out and slather up in this lotion Jimmy was talked into buying at the mall once, years ago (called Premier Dead Sea). No joke, it's the BEST. I've tried cocoa butters and this stuff from The Body Shop my mom sent me that pregnant women swear by ... the problem is, too many lotions just kind of sit on top of your skin and refuse to rub in. Then your hands are all sticky and you feel greasy and it's just gross. (I don't moisturize my skin, I believe I've discussed previously). But this stuff in the blue bottle -- Premier, I just Googled -- is perfect. I'm about to run out, but I found it on Amazon for $15ish. Will restock soon! Can even put it on my face without breaking out, so score! I also don't have any stretch marks from this pregnancy (which I think is just genetic, but maybe worth mentioning).  #bestpregnancyever

--Maybe hot showers feel good because it's no longer 90 to 100 degrees every day? This woman in the elevator on Wednesday was like, "phew, it's finally feeling like fall!"  And I wanted to say, "um, I believe the high today is 81."  Haha. I mean, I will say. We have no humidity here. Sometimes it can be breezy. When it's in the 70s even, it feels a LITTLE like fall. A LITTLE. *(Not really though).  Also worth noting: It's rainy and in the 60s today. Maybe fall IS here? Obvi debatable.

--We had our hospital tour! And a pregnancy class for people past the 33-week mark. They basically just told us what signs to call on, and which to come in for. My goal is to labor at home as long as humanly possible. (Kaiser is only 5 minutes from our place). The hospital seems nice though! The rooms are private and very large. I'm going to bring one of those bouncy balls and some fun distractions (Modern Family, MSU hype videos, etc). In a way, I'm weirdly happy not to have our families in the area. That sounds mean, but hear me out! To me, it just feels like a lot of pressure, to be in labor, knowing everyone's waiting on you a few rooms over. (Which WOULD be the case in Michigan, I guarantee). I do feel weirdly relaxed just knowing it'll be me and Jimmy, just us, no one else. He's so calm and low-key. And to tell you the truth, I might not even text anyone when labor starts -- even THAT feels like too much pressure! I can picture my phone now, "is the baby here yet? How is everyone? Any progress?" Nope nope and nope. My ideal sitch is to just call everyone Charlotte York style, once the deed is done, and deliver the good news. We'll text or call with the sex, the name, a picture ... and let everyone know we're happy and healthy as a family of three!*

*I realize not everything goes according to plan. I could be in labor for 48 hours, and want to wail on the phone to my mom. Like everything else, I'll stamp a big fat WE'LL SEE on this one : )

--I've now had two prenatal massages! The first one, which I think I mentioned, was a birthday present I bought for myself at the end of August. It was nice, but maybe a little gentle for my tastes. Anyway, the massage therapist Angela felt bad -- I guess she was a few minutes late, by her standards. We basically showed up at the same time, which, why would I care? She was mortified; I guess she forgot I was a new client and she'd advised me to arrive 15 minutes early. ANYWAY, she e-mailed me after the first appointment and offered me a free 60-minute session just to make up for her tardiness. I told her it was NBD, but I also wasn't about to turn down my shot at a free round two!

--So, I went back on Thursday. Maybe it's because I'm creakier and bigger and I needed it more this time? But it felt unbelievable. She evened out my hips and pushed my pelvis forward (which always feels like it's tipping back; pretty uncomfortable), and she even gave me some tips on how to stand and relieve the pressure in my back ... it was all so wonderful. She even thought I needed 15 extra minutes, so we went 75 instead of just the hour. Anyone in the Sacramento-Roseville area who needs a prenatal massage ... I gotchu! Will pass along Angela's full name, if you're interested. So, at the end of our session, I left, drove home, and just as I was pulling in, I saw I had a missed call from her. I'm like, hmm, that's weird, I hope I didn't forget anything. She left a message basically just telling me she noticed some pitted edema in my feet. (Go Google it, I'll give you a minute).

--After a LOT of my own Googling, I decided to call the Kaiser nurse and check in. I went from like, not caring "oh, it's just foot swelling, I already know I have that," to like, full-on panic. "Pre-eclampsia and emergency C-section? Go learn how the car seat works, Jims, we might be having the baby!"  But no. Here's the deal on pitted edema: It's foot swelling, but like, some next-level shit. For example, I had noticed lately if I wore pinchy shoes to work or I sat on this one quilt on the couch, the skin on my feet takes a few minutes to bounce back. Sometimes indentations that might normally go away in a few seconds take a few minutes to dissipate. I thought, weird but whatever. But apparently that's like, A THING.

--Luckily, the Kaiser nurse calmed me down about it pretty quickly. She was like, "do you have blurred vision?" Me: Nope. "Do you have bad headaches lately?" Nope. "Do you have excessive swelling in your face, arms, or anywhere else on your body?" Nope. "Do you have any other uncomfortable symptoms right now that are bothering you?" Nope. "OK then, we used to think pitted edema was a bigger deal, but if it's unaccompanied by anything else ... go put your feet up. Maybe drink more water tomorrow. Don't sweat it." PHEW. I don't know why I was so worried, but I feel a million times better after calling.

--Yes, my feet do look like hooves by the end of most days. But like I said, it's basically my only symptom. I hate to be like, "hey everyone, I'm having the easiest pregnancy of all time!" But I am. Sorry.

--I texted my friends and mom Friday about the pitted edema, but called it "pitted enema" ... lololol. Everyone was like, "are you sure that's the right name?" or, "enema? That doesn't sound good." Ha.

--We got into childbirth class! At the hospital tour, it was brought to our attention that basically everyone had taken theirs already, or they were signed up for one the following week. When I asked our instructor at the end of the session what the 411 was on childbirth class, she warned me that most people sign up at like, 20-24 weeks. And that these fill up FAST, and I likely wouldn't be able to get into one through Kaiser. This made me panicky for a bit, so in the week that followed, I researched our options: I considered private classes, but there wasn't enough time for us to get into Bradley Method, and hypnobirthing seemed slightly too hippie-dippy for us, and plus, so many of the ones I found were like, anywhere from $400 to several thousand dollars. No thanks. So, my plan for a bit was to watch everything I could on YouTube, and read up about how to survive.*

*I would like a natural birth, if possible, but I'm not dead-set on anything. I've probably mentioned, I understand some births are easier and a bit more manageable, and some are really hard, and last forever. I'm not THAT opposed to an epidural if I'm really up against my breaking point and in serious pain ... I know my limits, I just wanted to be able to have the option. And the woman at the hospital tour was all, "you will NEVER survive if you're not prepared, blahblahblah," which I totes didn't appreciate. I'm pretty sure cave women didn't get into the Kaiser class or study the Bradley Method either, you wench.

So! I don't know what came over me, because I meant to call Kaiser after the tour and plead with the receptionist to let me in ... (but then I totally got busy with work and forgot. Priorities).

--BUT THEN I was walking from building to building just the other day at work, and I had a minute to make a phone call (a rarity during the workday). I called Kaiser and asked if they had any openings for childbirth class, and told them I realized it was last-minute, but maybe there was a last-sec cancellation? At first, the woman agreed to let me into the late November class ("if your baby holds out that long,") and thennnnnnn she actually did either find space, or make space for us sooner! I think it's in two Saturdays, which is still cutting it close, but not as close as we would have been on Nov. 27 or whatever.

--I can't believe BG is due Dec. 5! That's one month from Friday.

--A list of what I'm/we're reading:

• "The Happiest Baby on the Block"
• "Super Baby: 12 Ways To Give Your Child a Head Start in the First 3 Years"
• "The Thinking Woman's Guide to a Better Birth" <-- (scary)
• The Girl on the Train (actually I've been done with this for a bit -- obviously not pregnancy-related, but I will plug it and say if you've been on the fence about it (I was), it def lives up to the hype!

--We're also reading to Baby G! (S)he can hear us, The Bump app tells me, which is pretty exciting.

--We deep-cleaned this weekend! And rearranged the entire living room, another good feeling. James set up the glider I bought for $150 off Sears.com, and it's cozier than ever in here. We still have a bit more work to do, but we're breaking it into pieces to make the goals a bit more obtainable : )  Thanks to the changing table/crib from James' parents, the stroller/car seat system from my parents, Edie's bassinet, and a million generous shower gifts, I think we're about ready to go! And we saved some of our Amazon money so we can buy things once we know what (s)he actually needs. Can't wait! And that's another reminder to me to blog about the shower! It was so lovely and nice to see everyone.

I have so many pics to share from shower weekend! Here's me and Rach at the MSU-Purdue game : )

--We have even more classes coming up this week and next: breastfeeding and caring for an infant. And another appointment, but ... I keep reading this is when your doc/midwife will want to see you once a week. Is that only for high-risk pregnancies? No one wants to see me any extra, haha. And when I'm there, it's not even all that productive. I'm weighed, they check my BP and protein levels, and usually check the heartbeat -- then I'm out. Whatevs, I don't have time for extra appointments anyway. (And that childbirth class is like, ALL DAY on MSU-Maryland Saturday).

--More proof that BG is nuts: We have to fill out this kick card, like, "how long does it take Baby G to kick 10 times?" You're supposed to stay still after meal time, around the same time every day, and count. Then you fill out on the chart how long it takes. The boxes don't even start until the 10-minute mark. BG hits 10 in about 1-6 minutes TOPS. You're supposed to be concerned if (s)he doesn't move 10 times in two hours. Just the other day I was like, "in two hours, Baby G has moved probably 2,000 times!" Is it possible to have an overactive baby?

--Still trying to stay active, but it's getting harder! James and I did crush probably a 5-6 mile walk last weekend. I was so sore afterward, but in a good way! He made the best apple crisp, too. Have you tried that new custard from ... Dreyer's, I believe? Match made in heaven with that apple crisp.

--I'm not so much sold on the freezer-meal bandwagon. I get that that's a thing: make an F-ton of food so that all you have to do is re-heat once BG arrives ... but I don't know, I'm never in the mood for frozen leftovers. I'd rather just have something simple but fresh, even if it's just grilled cheese or cereal. And I realize I'll have my hands full, but James is more than willing and able to help prep meals! We'll have to see if I regret this move.

--Other than that, just laying low and cheering for the Mets! Last time they won was 1986 (my birth year) -- I realize they're in a 3-1 hole, but wouldn't it be fun if they won it all again the same year BG will be born? We'd be James' lucky charms!

--I read some stupid meme on FB a few months ago that was like, "I don't waddle. This is called my pregnancy swag." Jimmy and I laughed at it at the time like, how lame. But ... yeah. Def rocking that swag.

--Did you enter our Baby Pool yet? I'm baking for the winner! Go play.

--This got LONG. I'll try to finish up some of my other entries soon! PS, we have maternity pics a week from today! Torn on what to wear. "Sweatpants are the only thing that fit me right now."

And did I mention we finally got wedding pics back? I'm so obsessed.